Just read this on hoopsworld, here's this little tidbit I know y'all like..

I emailed a copy of this story to Mrs. Blue at work and told her I am just sitting here waiting for the letter to season subscribers announcing no ticket price increase. Mrs. Blue shot back a reply saying she thinks the letter is going to go more like this:

To: Knicks Season Suckers...I mean Subscribers

From: Lord "I did NOT get this job just because my dad owns the place" Farquar

Re: 2002-2003 Season ticket price increase.

Well it's been another exciting, fun-filled year at MSG, and while we didn't exactly place where we would have liked to in the final standings, we did finish in the Top 10 of teams that DIDN'T make it to the playoffs - which is something we can all be proud of. And we did accomplish a number of other worthy goals such as:
1- Most peanuts sold during a single game

2- Fewest kids lost during the season

3- Quickest strip searches in the league

4- Most second-tier celebrities to attend a single game

5- Healthiest upper-tier fans in the NBA (due to having to walk down 27 flights of escalator steps at the end of every game)


And I would like to point out that not one single person has been fatally injured by a basketball during any of our games!

And next year, we have many, many important, exciting plans to bring great, talented, high-scoring NBA superstars to play for the Knicks. Please don't buy into all that media hype about salary caps and our past heinous lottery picks. I have been assured by Don Chaney and Latrell Sprewell (who we are appointing co-coach this year) that they have very specific top-secret plans for attracting great talent to the team. They cannot actually TELL me these plans (because they are top-secret, silly) but I know they must be good because whenever I see them together they are giggling like little girls.

So we will be a fabulous, winning team next year!!!

Now in order to have a fabulous winning team, Scott Layden tells me that we have to make money. And while I don't completely understand the correlation between his raise and his ability to find good players, I'm sure he knows what he's talking about because he once found a good player who happened to be a black guy and talked him into playing in Utah (or maybe it was his father that found him, oh… I forget, it’s not important) so I know that Scott is good at his job.

And since it's not fair to raise your ticket prices when we didn't actually make the playoffs this year, we had to come up with a way to raise the money anyhow. Therefore we are implementing a special "two-prong" policy next season: I am happy to announce that there will be a price freeze in effect on all season tickets! And to generate the needed income for Scott Layden's scouting trips to Mogadishu, Bali, and Portugal, we will simply add a small "user fee" to each season ticket. But - here's the beauty part - only if a ticket is actually "used", we will charge the season ticket holder a $10 fee. But if you don't actually "use" the ticket, you will not be charged the fee - just the actual ticket price. Isn't that great??? I thought of that myself.

So we'll see you all next year. And remember: Don’t steal Cable and watch Wrestlemania X8 on Pay Per View for only $34.95!

Lord Farquar And that’s it, until next time,

mailto:cbpny@hotmail.com

I usually semi enjoy reading his rantings but this cracked me up...

http://www.bskball.com/Blueseater.shtml