CrushAlot wrote:BRIGGS wrote:StarksEwing1 wrote:First off i hate losing but i have always been big of draft picks. As we all know the knicks since 2000 have thrown away picks mostly for crap and paid dearly for it. Now we can get a top 3 pick along with having cap space should make us better quicker
We may need to hire some new draft scouts for this year.
Throw your name into the hat.
Ring! Ring!
Phil: Hello?
Splat!: Phil, its Splat! I'm in Inner Mongolia scouting the Isckboivizek Mukkymuks.
Phil: Who are you? Who's paying you to go to Isckboivizek? First I heard of it.
Splat!: Yes Phil, didn't Allan tell you? I'm a bigfoot hunter. I find NBA-ready wooly mammoths where no scout has gone before.
Phil: Hold on a second ... (Jeannie, put on some clothes). So ........ find anything?
Splat!: Yesiree! His name is Og. No last name, just Og. He's 8'4" tall, 450 lbs. and he runs like a goddam gazelle! His stroke is unbelievable. As a boy in the tundra he would heave a rock a thousand yards and nail a reindeer right between the eyes. His kill rate was 90%, just like his 3-point FG%!
Phil: Hold on there Splat! You're telling me this circus monster shoots 90% from downtown?
Splat!: Yes! And nobody can score on him. His leg span is so wide he can spread his legs to outside both sides of the paint and not get a 3-second defensive violation. He just stands there and swats every shot down. I mean nobody has scored on him yet. Every game is a massacre.
Sometimes he just catches their shots and throws the ball downcourt and it goes in. He doesn't even have to move his feet. It's crazy!
Phil: That sounds like a bunch of horsechit. Who the hell are you? Did you take Amanita Muscaria with the shamans there? I know one outside Isckboivizek. I'll ask them if they've heard about this Og.
Splat!: Don't look a gift horse in the mouth Phil. Og will make you look like a genius. I'm signing him as soon as you give me the thumbs up. The game footage is arriving tomorrow. They use Super 8 film to record the games here so get that old projector out of your closet, because tomorrow is popcorn day with Og.