Of I were Melo?????
First, I don't like big booty women so La La and her honey nut nipples would be gone.
Second, I look at my bank account and the fat 70mil in it. Then I'd call Phil and ask to be traded to the Clippers. The weather is great, got a place on Malibu, and would bank skinny ass supermodels as much as I could.
But If I love La La and realize the girl done gone Hollywood then I'd want to be with her and I want to play in LA.
If I want to win a chip I try to wiggle on the clippers. Or get a penthouse with a killer view in San Fran and play for the Warriors.
If my want to be my own man I max out in NY, consider riding some other stars nutsack for a chip is lame and build with Phil Jax. Then blame everyone else for the teams failure and demand a trade, destroy another teams roster and get another tat.
With La La in LA i'd still bang all them skinny ass supermodels but be very careful about it In NYC one can hide from the paparazzi a bit easier. Then in the last year of my contract I'd be a big pain in the ass like Starbury and they can just mail my checks while I try to make nice with La La and have another kid. Or, pay up more big producing money and bank roll movies that she can be in. While she on location, bang more skinny ass supermodels.
Really?
Im melo I don't want to be in Chicago if Thibs is making me play defense.
In Miami I can hype my Pueto Rican heritage with a pencil thin 'Stash and cool hats.
In Boston I can incite racial chants and Larry Bird Comparisons. Fans forgot Pierce, KG and Ray were black and go back racist ways.
In Dallas I can wear queer as folk Cowboy boots and think Im cool, while Cuban whores me out on some reality show.
IN Houstan I can mentor Dwight on proper condom use but if I have to guard Harden in practice with that facial birds nest I will leave. I'll have to insist on them keeping Lin so I can ruin him again, then have Mchale fired!!!
In Golden State we'll score 130 a nite and lose n Conf. finals but nobody will blame me. Curry will start to age and he'll look like David spade. I'll get Kerr fired and get all my touches back.
Can't go to Toronto cuz I don't like Indian food. Allergic to Cheese and Spree so Milwaukee is out. Wizards would be "coming home" but the sequal goes strait to DVD, Philly? Its too nasty. Charlotte got Jordan but no supermodels. ATL has cool rap crowd so I could be with that. Pelicans have that voodoo thing and it scares LA LA and not enough skinny ass supermodels. Memphis, Really? Sacremento is the only not cool city in California.
Portland would be cool, they have a team yet in Seattle? Detroit don't want me. Cleveland would be funny if I went.