I agree that of late he has lost his composure and if he's going to be a leader on this team, he will need to control his emotions and learn from what has happened in these last 3 losses. I refuse to blame him for being mad at the no-calls, especially when they are frequent and sometimes flagrant like that Kaman committed in Dallas, but I do feel he needs to learn that he can't argue and work the refs when the time is still running. It makes a bad situation worse.
LBJ complains about every non-call and fouls he catches too but his body language when speaking with the refs most times is calm and often he nods his head and acknowledges the ref in some way. I've noticed this often and Melo should reconsider his approach.
In the Spurs game, when it started to look like we would be blown out, Woody called a time out w/ 7 or 8 mins to go. According to their postgame comments, everyone had lost their composure. Woody was yelling, Tyson was yelling back and everyone was talking at once. In that situation, it was Melo that got everyone to calm down, relax and focus. We need Melo to channel that.
Again, I don't blame him for being upset when getting beaten up by bigger guys and not getting the calls he deserves (not talking about superstar calls, just fair, legit fouls). I hate flopping so I respect that Melo doesn't do it but when you play honest and work hard and still don't get rewarded I can understand how that could be frustrating. I think he just needs to learn HOW to argue the calls and work the refs in a way that would make them sympathize with him rather than being defensive because they are being shown up and also not letting the other team score easily as a result.
Obviously they're not allowed to call out the refs but when something like the Kaman punch happens with a no-call, I'd say that would be a good reason to pay a fine to point something like that out. Dolan's got the $$.