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Pumping Up With Nixluva, Holfresh, Marv and The Answer Man
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misterearl
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4/18/2011  10:37 PM    LAST EDITED: 4/18/2011  11:30 PM
Answer Man: Good evening, and welcome again to "Pumping Up With Carmelo and Statz", the informative training program for serious Knicks fans.

Together: Welcome! We're back!

Carmelo: Alright. Once again, I am Carmelo...

Stoudemire: And I am Statz. And we just want to...

Together: pump... [They clap]...you up!

Carmelo: Alright.

Statz: Alright, first of all, let’s clear something up. You know, many people have accused us of not being involved with weights.

Carmelo: Ja. They are right! But let me explain—to us, those weights do not help your jump shot!

Statz: Ja. They are the strangers who stop on the street and still stare at our amazing pumpitude!

Holfresh: I'm not worried..I'm so pumped...I think we have a team or starting to build towards something...We can beat these guys...We have the two best players on the court!

Statz: Alright. Enough talk. We're not here to talk. We're here to...

Together: pump... [They clap]...you up!

Nixluva: The funny thing is that I was so pumped and into it that I pulled a stomach muscle jumping and punching in the air! HA!

Moonangie: Ja. I mean, it looked like KG tripped him, but there's no doubt that KG's foot was planted BEFORE Toney tripped on it.

Nixluva: ie, Kevin Garnett, Big Baby, all those guys cheat!

Carmelo: That's right, you know—Jermaine O'Neal, all of them! You know, it’s a laugh to even compare them to us! Look at me, Statz; I am laughing!

Nixluva: The Media fully expects the Knicks to fold and for the C's to just keep winning close games with guile and rough tactics. I think the Knicks are gonna ramp up the effort level, cuz I think they've got another gear they can go to and I don't believe the C's have the ability to consistently do that.

Statz: Ja! So am I laughing too, Carmelo!

[They laugh on, oblivious to the presence of Holfresh, Nixluva and Marv, who has just walked up behind them and simply stand there]

Marv: Look, fellas—let’s not confuse the issue here. It is absolutely mind-boggling how some guys on this board are obviously rooting against the knicks. i'm pretty much of a freethinker but i do condemn you chicken-hearted turncoats.

Statz: Ah—Well, before they make this rash decision, maybe you should see what Boston is up against.

Carmelo: Ja. Take a look, Marv…

[Carmelo and Statz flex their muscles superiorly, although Marv seems impressed]

Carmelo & Statz: [adlibs of “Now what do you think about that?”]

Marv: Looks to me like you guys are, like, really constipated; maybe you could drink some prune juice or something. I don’t know who taught you that stuff, but it looks kind of silly. You know what I’m saying?

Carmelo: All right, put it out…Go! [Marv holds out the little finger on his right hand; Carmelo and Franz proceed to push on it but can’t budge it an inch] All right—Push, Statz!

Statz: I am pushing, Carmelo! But Marv’s baby finger is too strong!!

Carmelo: It’s a Super-Baby-Finger!! [They stop to catch their wind] I’m very impressed, Mr. Marv; maybe we misjudged you.

Statz: Ja, maybe you’re not a girlie-man after all, Marv.

Marv: Sure thing; anytime, fellas…Just try and remember the Zen of things, okay? Have a nice one.

Statz: Ah—certainly, Marv. Good day. [Marv departs]

Carmelo: You know, Franz, Marv’s pinkie has taught us a great lesson.

Statz: Ja, maybe there would be a better way to pummel a girlie-man team like the Celtics than muscle against flab.

Carmelo: Fist against poop-filled diaper.

Statz: …Ja! Me too, exactly! Mind over matter is great, but let’s not forget the three sixty reverse spin layup over Garnett!

[They flex some more, then…]

Together: Live from Boston on Tuesday and then from New York, it’s ON Friday… [They clap]…Night!

once a knick always a knick
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Childs2Dudley
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4/18/2011  10:37 PM
The hell?
"Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us." - Earl Nightingale
Olbrannon
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4/18/2011  11:06 PM
Childs2Dudley wrote:The hell?

Andy and Landry episode?

Bill Simmons on Tyreke Evans "The prototypical 0-guard: Someone who handles the ball all the time, looks for his own shot, gets to the rim at will and operates best if his teammates spread the floor to watch him."
Nalod
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4/18/2011  11:07 PM
Mister, Good take!

Better living thru chemistry! Good for you.
martin
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4/18/2011  11:17 PM
awesome
Official sponsor of the PURE KNICKS LOVE Program
nixluva
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4/19/2011  2:01 AM
I'm layin up right now like Billups. I can't go hard tomorrow cuz of my pulled abdominal It's all good, I gave up the body for the team so I feel like i'm more involved in the series with the rest of the team. I'm gonna do some rehab, get some treatment and try to be back for game 2. I've got the muscle relaxants so I should be good.
Marv
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4/19/2011  6:55 AM
thank you earl. you chronicled my finest moment.
holfresh
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4/19/2011  9:15 AM
Earl, so you don't get paid for this stuff huh??
misterearl
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4/19/2011  9:26 AM
holfresh wrote:Earl, so you don't get paid for this stuff huh??

Holfresh - only when I include an invoice. And even then, it's only sometimes.

The point being, I am pumped for tonight more than Sunday because our boys now have playoff experience. The NYK took the game TO the Celtics, who were only bailed out by a freak injury to Billups, and some suspect officiating on two consecutive plays.

I'm here to pump (clap) ... you up!

once a knick always a knick
BlueSeats
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4/19/2011  10:21 AM    LAST EDITED: 4/19/2011  10:22 AM
misterearl wrote:Donnie Walsh is making mental notes on how close the franchise is to an elite level. Just think, Donnie may enjoy the rare sound of The Garden in April, with the trains rumbling through Penn Station, and the other team forced to call a hasty timeout after a 8-0 Knicks rum.

misterearl is clearly in the playoff spirit. I mean spirits....
misterearl
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4/19/2011  11:15 AM
BlueSeats - if you cannot have maximum pumpitude during the playoffs, you cannot claim to be alive.

The series has barely started and the Knicks are still getting acquainted. Toney Douglas is about to take a crash course in team leadership.

The ushers at MSG are pulling down paychecks April again. Life am good.

once a knick always a knick
BlueSeats
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4/19/2011  11:31 AM
Don'tcha ever stop misterearl. I'm right there wid'cha.
misterearl
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4/19/2011  12:26 PM
Bart Scott: "CAN'T WAIT!"

Here is the thing BlueSeats... after so many years of wandering in the wilderness of the draft lottery, hoping for improvement, we are finally back in the playoffs.

Sure, Boston has its legacy and own version of three amigos to contend with, but guess what? Game one showed the national television audience we are in this thing for real. Toney Douglas will not back down tonight and I am EXPECTING Landry Fields to repeat his lock down defensive effort on Ray Allen. I even expect Derrick Brown to make one big play during game 5. Game 5 you say?

Yes, there will be a game 5. The Knicks will not go quietly. Either Bill Walker or Shawne Willliams will get involved in a scuffle, you can bank on it.

Frankly, win or lose, I want the Knicks to make us proud.

Game one, despite the anguish of the final 2 minutes, they did that.

Now, go do it again. This time, with feeling.

once a knick always a knick
BlueSeats
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4/19/2011  12:35 PM
misterearl wrote:
Frankly, win or lose, I want the Knicks to make us proud.

Game one, despite the anguish of the final 2 minutes, they did that.

Very proud. The old champs needed help from the league to get out alive.
Moonangie
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4/19/2011  4:05 PM
BlueSeats wrote:
misterearl wrote:Donnie Walsh is making mental notes on how close the franchise is to an elite level. Just think, Donnie may enjoy the rare sound of The Garden in April, with the trains rumbling through Penn Station, and the other team forced to call a hasty timeout after a 8-0 Knicks rum.

misterearl is clearly in the playoff spirit has clearly indulged in much playoff spirits. I mean spirits....

Fixed...
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Pumping Up With Nixluva, Holfresh, Marv and The Answer Man
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