LEBRON TO PLAY FOR SATURN RINGS EXPANSION TEAM

By MARC BERMAN

Last Updated: 2:45 PM, July 7, 2010

Posted: 2:32 PM, July 7, 2010

One of the reasons there has been so much speculation about LeBron's intentions, is that LeBron himself had not yet made up his mind.

Now he has.

In response to requests from President Obama and other world leaders, LeBron has agreed to play for the expansion “Saturn Rings” team. This creation of this team was forced upon the NBA by a race of aliens from outer space who have been observing the earth for many centuries, waiting for us to be “ready” for their advanced technology and superior intellectual abilities.

The aliens reportedly decided to reveal themselves at this time because LeBron’s free agency “represents the apex of human civilization”.

The aliens had threatened to vaporize the earth if LeBron did not sign with their team. Earth scientists have concluded that they have the technology to do this. Still, the decision to play on Saturn was not an automatic one for LeBron. There was concern about how his playing for another team would be taken in the state of Ohio.

There was also concern about the alien’s practice of conducting “anal probes” on human subjects. That issue was resolved when Maverick Carter agreed to go along and be the subject of the alien “experiments”.

More details as they become available.