Solace wrote:

TMS wrote:seriously, i don't understand women either... i hate to argue *cough*

Well, it's funny, because she asks why I see it as arguing.
I said, "well, you're disputing every point I make and what you're saying isn't actually true."
Her: "Isn't that called discussing?"
Me: "No. That's called being a pain in the ass and talking to you is a waste of time."

Then, I walked away and went back to my homework after another wasted two hours of nothing useful.

When you sense an argument coming just throw a random compliment in there. They tend to pick up complements very well and their train of thought goes mushy. If she is bringing up past mistakes best thing to do is laugh and say boy that was real stupid what I did, this will shut her up as she will not know how to react. They try to goad you into arguing with them that is one of the most effective way to avoid confrontation is to accept the mistake and laugh.

Respect must be earned not implied. If you getting the mouth from your girl then your about cooked.

Ever see those yellow pad lists people make with two columns: One "Pro" the other "Con".

The argueing is her way of filling up the "Con" side.

Is Bitty the only women on this board? We need more.

Solace wrote:With apologies to bitty, I'm starting to believe that some women like to argue just to argue. I'm getting very tired of it. You present a logical argument and they try to tear it down with illogical statements. When you make logical arguments why their arguments make no sense or don't apply, they just change the topics and bring up a flaw/mistake/whatever of yours from two years ago. Argh! Sorry, girlfriend problems.

This doesn't sound like some philisophical argument. It sounds like an emotional one. If it's about an emtional issue, don't try to go all "Mr. Spock" and expect her to be "logical". If the arguments are about your relationship, or perceived emotional wrongs, those are dealt with on an emotional level.

If you are the "logical" type, try to look at it this way: What is the puzzle here? What is she really trying to tell you? Did you really flirt with the waitress? Did you lecture her about something? Ignore her opinion? Did you say something that could reasonably upset her? If so, just admit you're wrong and move on.

On the other hand, it's possible that she has issues that go beyond you, and you're just triggering them with what you think are innnocuous remarks or actions. She could be one of those crazy girls and there's nothing you can do about it, in which case you may have to consider changing your stiutation.

But I'd suggest looking at your own actions first. If you really care for this girl, try doing nice things for her from time to time out of the blue. Observe yourself and see if you're being overly critical at times, lecturing her, ignoring her opinion, etc (generally being a boor). Nothing personal meant - most of us guys do this stuff whithout thinking about it.

Women...

Markji wrote:

Solace wrote:Thanks guys. As for the argument. Basically, I have a long-ish ride to work right now. Can be about 50 minutes, or worse, if there's traffic. Last year I wanted to move, but she was complaining, so it wound up not happening. This year we were talking about it again. The problem is that she was making up any argument in the world to tell me why I'm silly for wanting to move, blah blah... Most of them were totally bogus. I'm not going to bother getting into some of the excuses, but there were some that were utterly absurd and she knows it, too. Later after I gave up talking to her, she finally admitted that she was making up BS excuses and she just didn't want to move because she likes the town. Why she couldn't make that point in the first place, instead of making irrational arguments, I don't know.

Women...

Well, that isn't so bad.

If you, or anyone on this board, haven't read "Men are from Mars, Woman are from Venus", I highly recommend it. Just the first book - that is enough. or listen to the audio on the way to work. It really opened my eyes about relationships between men and woman....and that was almost 20 years ago.

How come Bitty never chimes in on these threads to give an understanding from the woman's point of view. I'd love to hear it.

Ohhhhhh she does and I'm sure she will when she reads this thread.