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Overheard on the Subway
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kam77
Posts: 27664
Alba Posts: 25
Joined: 3/17/2004
Member: #634
6/25/2009  12:44 PM
http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/019598.html

Conductor: This is the 3:07 off peak train to Huntington. Stopping at Woodside, Jamaica, New Hyde Park...blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Watch the gap. (clicks microphone off)

--LIRR

Conductor: There's a 2 express train right across the platform. Ready, set, go!

--1 Train

Conductor: There's a Brighton Beach-bound b train across the platform. Say that three times fast.

--F Train

Overheard by: Thom Cohen

Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that.

--Downtown 2 Train

Train conductor: This message is for the young man who stepped to the edge of the platform at the front of the train. This train feels no pain, this train has no brain. How about you?

--Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Guitarbuyer

lol @ being BANNED by Martin since 11/07/10 (for asking if Mr. Earl had a point). Really, Martin? C'mon. This is the internet. I've seen much worse on this site. By Earl himself. Drop the hypocrisy.
AUTOADVERT
orangeblobman
Posts: 27269
Alba Posts: 0
Joined: 3/1/2009
Member: #2539
Nauru
6/25/2009  12:50 PM
LOL @ "Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that."
WE AIN'T NOWHERE WITH THIS BUM CHOKER IN CARMELO. GIVE ME STARKS'S 2-21 ANY DAY OVER THIS LACKLUSTER CLUSTEREFF.
kam77
Posts: 27664
Alba Posts: 25
Joined: 3/17/2004
Member: #634
6/25/2009  12:53 PM
Conductor: This is an express, uptown C train. You heard right: an express C train. Next stop: 125th Street. If you need local service on the Upper West Side, please transfer across the platform to the D, as in "Daddy done did it" or B, as in "bad boy Bobby Brown" train.

--C train, 59th St

Conductor: This is a Brooklyn bound B train. Like bitch.

--B train

Conductor: We are currently being held in the station because of some other A train ****ing us all over.

--Uptown A train

Overheard by: la di da

Conductor: Never give up on life. Keep hope alive. This is 30th Avenue.

--N train, Astoria

Overheard by: trying to shake off a Red Lobster feast

Conductor: Thank you for riding the C train and remember: smile and the world smiles with you.

--C train

Overheard by: NYGirlieGirl

Conductor: You can switch to the A train across the platform. However, I would much rather you stay on this train.

--Downtown C train, 14th St

Overheard by: alxie

Conductor: This train is very crowded. If you cannot fit, please step back and wait for the next train. If you manage to get onto this very crowded train, look at the person next to you and tell them, "Howdy!"

--Queens bound F train

Conductor: Step in and stand clear of the good news.

--F train, 34th St

Overheard by: prairiesquid

Conductor: Hello, and welcome to the mobile sauna bath.

--A train

Overheard by: english dude

Conductor: This is 175th Street. This is an A train to...This is an A train to... to nothing! Hey, does anyone know where we're going?

--A train, 175th St

Overheard by: Brown Eyed Girl

Conductor: All right, there's a 3 train across the platform. Hurry up and make your connection, people. Get to steppin', get to steppin'!

--1 train, Times Square

Conductor, angrily: Yo, stand clear o' the closing doors o' my choo-choo!

--PATH train
lol @ being BANNED by Martin since 11/07/10 (for asking if Mr. Earl had a point). Really, Martin? C'mon. This is the internet. I've seen much worse on this site. By Earl himself. Drop the hypocrisy.
TMS
Posts: 60684
Alba Posts: 617
Joined: 5/11/2004
Member: #674
USA
6/25/2009  4:16 PM
Get to steppin', get to steppin'!

lol

After 7 years & 40K+ posts, banned by martin for calling Nalod a 'moron'. Awesome.
kam77
Posts: 27664
Alba Posts: 25
Joined: 3/17/2004
Member: #634
6/25/2009  6:00 PM
God Squad lady: Praise Jesus! You won't be saved without Jesus! You have to start believing in Jesus to be saved! Jesus will always be there for you!

Suit #1: Would it be so awful if we pushed her out when the doors open?

Suit #2: No. Jesus will save her.


--4 train

Overheard by: Gregorio
lol @ being BANNED by Martin since 11/07/10 (for asking if Mr. Earl had a point). Really, Martin? C'mon. This is the internet. I've seen much worse on this site. By Earl himself. Drop the hypocrisy.
kam77
Posts: 27664
Alba Posts: 25
Joined: 3/17/2004
Member: #634
6/25/2009  6:05 PM
Girl #1: So when was your first kiss?
Girl #2: My 17th birthday.
Girl #1: How about your first time making out?
Girl #2: Also my 17th birthday.
Girl #1: ...first bj?
Girl #2: This is awkward. 17th birthday, again.
Girl #1: How about when you lost your virginity?
Girl #2: 17th.
Girl #1: How about the first time you --
Girl #2: I know what you're about to ask, and the answer is "my 17th birthday" again.
Girl #1: God damn! What the hell did you do for your 18th birthday?

--R train
lol @ being BANNED by Martin since 11/07/10 (for asking if Mr. Earl had a point). Really, Martin? C'mon. This is the internet. I've seen much worse on this site. By Earl himself. Drop the hypocrisy.
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