I know this is off topic, but I think the subject matter is quite important especially in todays society:

United We Sleep (festival cut)



I am currently fixing up some audio and adding small clips here and there, but I wanted to get your opinion on the festival cut (the final version will be the same length, just more tight with sound, and a few more musical cues).

Please do comment and leave opinions, suggestions, questions, etc. A filmmaker cannot get better with "It was good! I liked it!" What did you like, and what did you not like?

Scary stuff.

I notice the kid was in the house, and a second later he is outside the house. When did he leave the house? Why did he leave the house after the father said wait here as he got up to check out the sound at the door. Why did the girl get to the door before the father?

Also, the first 40 seconds was a waste of my time. I didn't appreciate that.

As a viewer, i felt a sense of fear with the timing and the forboding nature of the radio. The radio was your strongest character.

Also, you probably couldn't hire professional actors. I would have identified more with them if they were stronger. The girl could have showed some more emotion.

[Edited by - kam77 on 08-02-2007 5:49 PM]

Posted by LongIslandKnicksFan:

Thanks for the suggestions and questions.

The reason as to why the kid left the house is because as you know, kids don't listen to what their parents say. You have the girl saying that she wants to go Christmas shopping, shes looking up people on her Razor phone, etc. As for the girl, she went to the window first and the father went to the door.

Appreciate the questions and comments.

I know. But you should show the kid walking out the door as maybe some news comes on the radio so we can freak out and be more scared and identify more. The kid walking outside... why? Maybe he saw something out the window and wanted to check it out despite what the dad said. Maybe he left his bicycle outside and wants to bring it in... or better yet... he sees his dog out there lying on the ground and he defies his dad anyway. Then you could have a scene where the Dad is pulling hte sister away from running after him.

It just surpised me that you skip to the kid outside and we have no explanation to his motivation. Its not enough to expect the audience to identify with misbehaving kids.

I was waiting to see who did the shooting or at least them leaving the scene

I make movies too, I'm a Digital Media Production major

http://www.youtube.com/user/YoungSpike


i have some other movies in the video section of my myspace page too

http://www.myspace.com/young_spike

I shot my friend's band. I shot the tape they sent in to America's Next Great Band, its on my youtube. that's not a music video i would like to shoot one

[Edited by - youngspike on 08-02-2007 9:14 PM]

i met LI knicks fan at the draft a few yrs ago, he did look like walsh from entourage.

best walsh line: "FUCK COMMERCE!" when vince bails on queens blvd.

LOL Sm00th, that line was great. LI, I know you're Walash, admit it!

LI, I'm at work, if I get a minute, I'll check your movie. If not I'll do it when I get home. I'll let oyu know what I think although I'm no horror movie expert.

eVil, did you get a chance to check out the film yet?