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BasketballJones
Posts: 31949
Alba Posts: 19
Joined: 7/16/2002
Member: #290
USA
6/20/2007  12:31 AM
http://www.ultimateknicks.com/forum/topic.asp?t=22008
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BasketballJones
Posts: 31949
Alba Posts: 19
Joined: 7/16/2002
Member: #290
USA
11/28/2007  12:39 PM
The BasketballJones Unofficial UK Posting FAQ

Here are a few tips on how to have a successful UK posting career:

1. Stand for something: In order to post on UK you must be in one of the
following three categories:

a. Lover
b. Hater
c. Insignificant

2. If you’re conflicted about which to choose, don’t worry: Your fellow
UK posters will assign you a label based on your posts. They will
base this on your opinion of Stephon Marbury.

3. You are always right. This is the most important thing to remember.
You are always right, even when you’re wrong. Admitting you’re wrong
about something is a shameful thing, and a sign of weakness that will
relegate you to insignificance.

4. Never apologize. What have you got to apologize for? You’re always
right. Remember?

5. Be prolific: Post regularly and often. You want to get your post
count to up 10,000 to be a big shot on UK. It doesn’t matter what
you say, if anything.

6. Be insulting. After all, this is the internet. You aren’t seeing
these people face to face, and they don’t know who you are. Be sure
to insult your fellow posters early and often.

7. But if some poster insults you, tell him that he definitely wouldn’t
speak to you that way in person, and that if you ever do meet him in
person you’re going to beat his ass to a bloody pulp.

8. Get Noticed: In order to make a big splash, you’ve got to get
noticed. Otherwise, you’ll be relegated to insignificance. You need
to develop a shtick. Here are a few routines that have worked for
other UK Posters:

a. Be boastful - trumpet your accomplishments as an internet sports
forum poster.
b. Act knowledgeable - pretend you know something about basketball
(see 3 above)
c. Mock your fellow posters (this is a good fallback position if
you can’t pretend to know something about basketball.)
d. Be annoying and tedious. Keep posting a similar post over and
over again with slight variations.
e. Be long winded. Make your posts really long so that others have
to scroll to read them. Preferably, keep each post to one
massive paragraph. For added impact, don’t actually say
anything.
f. Have a nice long conversation with yourself. Post about 10 or
twenty times in a row, responding to yourself. How long has it
been since you and you had a nice little chat?
g. Be incomprehensible. They can’t argue with or criticize what
they don’t understand
h. Be combative. Never let a post disagreeing with your position
go unanswered! Who are they to contradict you?
i. Act superior to others. Be above it all, and write your posts
in the style of an academic treatise. Be sure to show off your
massive vocabulary. (It’s okay if you don’t actually know what
all those big words mean. Neither do your fellow posters!)
j. Be dismayed by your fellow posters. Be sure to scold them for
their immaturity and whatever else you can think of. (This
works well when combined with 6-i above)
k. Be a wise ass - just make jokes about everything and everybody
(works well when combined with 6-c)

9. Always be nice to the forum mods, Andrew & Martin. No mater how
reprehensible your behavior is otherwise (and it should be very
reprehensible, if you want to be a big-time UK poster) always kiss
ass, and tone it down when these cats are around. This is one case
where you want to be polite, because Andrew and Martin are the GODS
of UK. Don’t mess with them or your posting career will be short
indeed, and you will be forced to pick a new name and start your post
count all over again.

10. Keep your threads alive! It’s your thread. You worked hard to be
the author of an active thread on the first page of the forum
listing. Keep it there! It doesn’t matter if time has passed
the subject by. Any time one of your threads gets pushed to the
second page, you need to go and add a new post to it, to bring it
back to the first page. Don’t deprive your fellow posters of your
brilliant contribution to the forum.

11. Be pugnacious and paranoid. You're not here to make friends. You're
here to show that you are right and that others are wrong. Always
point out that you've turned out to be right about something (even if
you haven't) and that others questioned and/or made fun of you for
it in the past. Don't let them forget that they made you a pariah
(even if they didn't) for being the first to be right about something
(even if you weren't)

That’s it. Just follow these simple guidelines, and enjoy a long happy
life of posting on UK that you'll be proud to tell your grandchildren
about.






[Edited by - basketballjones on 11-28-2007 12:48]
BasketballJones
Posts: 31949
Alba Posts: 19
Joined: 7/16/2002
Member: #290
USA
5/12/2008  7:51 PM
test
x

[Edited by - basketballjones on 05-12-2008 19:51]
Knicksfan
Posts: 31176
Alba Posts: 27
Joined: 7/5/2004
Member: #691
USA
12/14/2008  10:16 PM
Posted by BasketballJones:

The BasketballJones Unofficial UK Posting FAQ

Here are a few tips on how to have a successful UK posting career:

1. Stand for something: In order to post on UK you must be in one of the
following three categories:

a. Lover
b. Hater
c. Insignificant

2. If you’re conflicted about which to choose, don’t worry: Your fellow
UK posters will assign you a label based on your posts. They will
base this on your opinion of Stephon Marbury.

3. You are always right. This is the most important thing to remember.
You are always right, even when you’re wrong. Admitting you’re wrong
about something is a shameful thing, and a sign of weakness that will
relegate you to insignificance.

4. Never apologize. What have you got to apologize for? You’re always
right. Remember?

5. Be prolific: Post regularly and often. You want to get your post
count to up 10,000 to be a big shot on UK. It doesn’t matter what
you say, if anything.

6. Be insulting. After all, this is the internet. You aren’t seeing
these people face to face, and they don’t know who you are. Be sure
to insult your fellow posters early and often.

7. But if some poster insults you, tell him that he definitely wouldn’t
speak to you that way in person, and that if you ever do meet him in
person you’re going to beat his ass to a bloody pulp.

8. Get Noticed: In order to make a big splash, you’ve got to get
noticed. Otherwise, you’ll be relegated to insignificance. You need
to develop a shtick. Here are a few routines that have worked for
other UK Posters:

a. Be boastful - trumpet your accomplishments as an internet sports
forum poster.
b. Act knowledgeable - pretend you know something about basketball
(see 3 above)
c. Mock your fellow posters (this is a good fallback position if
you can’t pretend to know something about basketball.)
d. Be annoying and tedious. Keep posting a similar post over and
over again with slight variations.
e. Be long winded. Make your posts really long so that others have
to scroll to read them. Preferably, keep each post to one
massive paragraph. For added impact, don’t actually say
anything.
f. Have a nice long conversation with yourself. Post about 10 or
twenty times in a row, responding to yourself. How long has it
been since you and you had a nice little chat?
g. Be incomprehensible. They can’t argue with or criticize what
they don’t understand
h. Be combative. Never let a post disagreeing with your position
go unanswered! Who are they to contradict you?
i. Act superior to others. Be above it all, and write your posts
in the style of an academic treatise. Be sure to show off your
massive vocabulary. (It’s okay if you don’t actually know what
all those big words mean. Neither do your fellow posters!)
j. Be dismayed by your fellow posters. Be sure to scold them for
their immaturity and whatever else you can think of. (This
works well when combined with 6-i above)
k. Be a wise ass - just make jokes about everything and everybody
(works well when combined with 6-c)

9. Always be nice to the forum mods, Andrew & Martin. No mater how
reprehensible your behavior is otherwise (and it should be very
reprehensible, if you want to be a big-time UK poster) always kiss
ass, and tone it down when these cats are around. This is one case
where you want to be polite, because Andrew and Martin are the GODS
of UK. Don’t mess with them or your posting career will be short
indeed, and you will be forced to pick a new name and start your post
count all over again.

10. Keep your threads alive! It’s your thread. You worked hard to be
the author of an active thread on the first page of the forum
listing. Keep it there! It doesn’t matter if time has passed
the subject by. Any time one of your threads gets pushed to the
second page, you need to go and add a new post to it, to bring it
back to the first page. Don’t deprive your fellow posters of your
brilliant contribution to the forum.

11. Be pugnacious and paranoid. You're not here to make friends. You're
here to show that you are right and that others are wrong. Always
point out that you've turned out to be right about something (even if
you haven't) and that others questioned and/or made fun of you for
it in the past. Don't let them forget that they made you a pariah
(even if they didn't) for being the first to be right about something
(even if you weren't)

That’s it. Just follow these simple guidelines, and enjoy a long happy
life of posting on UK that you'll be proud to tell your grandchildren
about.






[Edited by - basketballjones on 11-28-2007 12:48]

LMAO BJ, you sure have too much free time
Knicks_Fan
Test 3

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