Written by Chris Sheridan

LAS VEGAS -- Just back from Caesar's Palace, where I hung out with Charles Barkley for 15 minutes earlier this evening to discuss his upcoming race against referee Dick Bavetta.

And after discussing the matter with Sir Charles, who's carrying around at least 100 more pounds of girth than he had when I covered him as a player, I am issuing the strongest prediction I've ever issued, and I'm encouraging all you readers to turn this bit of Insider knowledge into a tidy profit on Saturday night by following my wagering advice: Bet the mortgage on Bavetta, and bet next month's mortgage, too, if you can find anyone clueless enough to put their money on Barkley.

Bavetta might actually lap Barkley in this race, which will consist of two and a half trips from baseline to baseline, ending at center court.

"I'd say they're cheating to make him win. They've done changed the length of the damn race three times. I didn't agree to it, they just showed up today and said we're lengthening the race," Barkley said. "He's probably in better shape than me, but not in a sprint."

OK, Charles. So how much sprinting are you doing these days?

"I wasn't running at all until this thing came up," Barkley said, "but I had to do some sprinting today."

And how did you feel about your speed?

"I'm not sure speed would be the right word you'd want to use. I was jogging at a brisk pace," Barkley said.

So when exactly was the last time you actually broke into a sprint?

"Probably the last time I played a game"

But in that game you were coming off a knee injury, weren't you?

"Oh yeah, I wasn't sprinting that night either."

Barkley actually went to UNLV's outdoor track earlier Thursday to receive some coaching from 1968 U.S. Olympic sprinter John Carlos, who advised him to stretch and use his arms, taking the pressure off his legs. Barkley said he had not yet decided what to wear for the race, but said it would be some sort of Nike gear (Memo to Nike: Maybe y'all want to let Charles run in someone else's gear Saturday night. As you guys said back in 1996 when Barkley was playing for the U.S. Olympic team, athletes don't win silver, they lose gold.)

"Most people don't realize most of your running is done with your arms, not your legs. And I probably needed to know that," Barkley said of his tutorial from Carlos.

I told Barkley that I interviewed Bavetta a year ago when he was about to break the record for most games refereed, and I related to him that Bavetta jogs eight miles a day, every single day, 364 days a year, no matter what city he's in or what the weather is. (On the 365th day, Bavetta treats himself to an ice cream cone.)

"You think I believe that? There's no way at his age (67) he can run that much. There's no way," Barkley said. "As long as he's been around, there's no way his joints can take that pounding every day. I just don't believe that. Now he might have done that in his early years, but I think there comes a point in time when your joints can't physically take that."

So to review, Barkley is overweight (he wouldn't say exactly how much he weighed because he claims he doesn't know. "I'm afraid to get on the scale," he said), he hasn't run in five years, and he's in complete denial about the physical fitness level of a man 25 years his senior.

So you add it all up, readers, and then go out and find yourself a fool who thinks Barkley is going to win this thing. Then go ahead and make your wager, and feel free to spend your winnings before the race is even run. It's that much of a lock.

"I just hope he don't drop dead and I get the blame for that," Barkley said.

Well, if anyone drops dead in this race, it'll be the guy who's now making a living from running off at the mouth. Not that I would ever wish anything bad on Charles, one of my all-time favorites. But I'm telling you, he's losing this race, and he's going to lose it badly. You can take that one to the bank.

________________________________________________

Other than the slam dunk contest, is there any event more interesting at All-Star weekend than this race? Barkley is hilarious. I will probably miss the all-star game but I am going to watch this race.

Is this going to be on tv?

This is going to be the best event of All Star weekend.