Could not resist sharing this...

Why sports figures can't have real jobs

Here you go, sports geeks!

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan'
all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to
copulate me."
.... ........................................................

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
...........................................................

And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my
own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said:

"To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
..........................................................

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
................ ............................................

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy

like Norman Einstein."
............................................................

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :

"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

(now, that is beautiful)
...........................................................

Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:

"You guys line up alphabetically by height" And,

"You guys pair up in groups of three, then
line up in a circle."
............................................................

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up

again with promoter Don King:

"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter?

He went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."
.............................................................

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why

he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still

find my clothes."
............................................................

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training

regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota:

"He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless

of what time it is."
...........................................................

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining

to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:

"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be

an uncle or an aunt."

(I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
............................................................

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:

"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'

He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
...........................................................

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting

what he told a player who received four F's and one D:

"Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
........................................... .................

Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked by

Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,

Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."

(Dead man walkin')