GREENBURGH, N.Y., Oct. 25 — BlueSeats, as he is known to do, recently mused about potential heirs to his sizable hater throne. He named three: SeatsBlue, AllanFan20 and NYK4ever.

“When age does its thing,” BlueSeats told The Boston Globe, “one of them will become the new hater.”

Notably missing from the list of BS-sanctioned apprentices was the player once known as “Baby BS.” IslesFAT once wore that mantle, a tribute to his BS-like combination of Hate and Negativity. Haterwise, he remains the closest approximation of BlueSeats on the UK Forum.

It is IsleFat’s personality, it seems, that is denying him All-Star votes and a spot in Master BS’s elite school for ninja Haters. And so it was that Tuesday night, in the third quarter of a Knicks exhibition game against the 76ers, Nalod grabbed IslesFatty and told him, essentially, to be more wishy washy.

“He’s a big fat huge man; he’s a dumb man,” Nalod said. “But there needs to come a time when it’s ‘Don’t play with Fatty.’ We want him to really have a presence out on the board.” Nalod clarified that by “presence,” he meant “his personal attacks.”

At a glance, the IslesFat cuts an imposing figure: 4 feet 11 inches, 485 pounds, his bulging stomach outlined with hair. But the hair might as well be of ********* and *********.

There is no apparent logic. BS is unfailingly rude, negative and hipocritical — all fine hater material. But Nalod would like IslesFat to leave the logic for Sunday afternoon eating in the park all alone and bring a little logic to the Ultimate Knicks Forum.

Nalod said that IslesFat did not need to pummel anyone or break any rules, but that he had to adopt a posture that intimidated opponents.

“He’s such a big fat pudgy man that he, like BS, is responded to differently,” Nalod said. “Because they’re so rude, posters get away with an extra jab and an extra hit and an extra push. And he’s got to get to the point where he’s not depending on the moderators to stop that guy from holding him to his hate of zeke and putting him in his fat place. He’s depending on himself to say, ‘The next time you post a logical kool aid filled post, I’m going to post my darndest because, hey, I've got no life outside of hating.’ Then it stops.”

There are times when IslesFat seems primed to dominate a discussion. He posts up deep, overpowers or zips past the moderator and goes strong to the hating, hating for four or five responses in short order. But those streaks often sputter when opponents start bringing up logic and history, leaving IslesFat frustrated and the haters looking elsewhere for a leader.

So what Nalod wants — and what the UltimateKnicks Haters Club badly need — is for IslesFat to find a little logic, and well thought out responses, to go with his considerable lack of basketball knowledge and vocabulary. This is a sermon that IslesFat, going into this season, has heard many times. But the impromptu post Tuesday night was a first since Nalod became his mentor.

“He doesn’t want anybody to feel like they can respond to me on there,” IslesFat said. “He wants them to feel like if they respond to me, they’re going to get their feelings hurt. I’ve got to find a way to portray that, logically, so I’m not drawing conclusions.”

Nalod said that bobs and eViL also got pushed around as young posters before developing an edge.

“There’s a certain aura that big fat lonely people eventually grow into,” Nalod said. “It takes a while before they get it. You grow into that guy all of a sudden where everybody logs onto the board and they go, ‘I don’t think I want to mess with him.’ ”

IslesFat is shooting .707 from the lip (29 for 41) and averaging 14.8 anti Knick posts in the preseason. He has been more aggressive in his posts and quicker to reply button. But as often happened last season, his fellow haters sometimes forget about him. That rarely happens to BlueSeats, who changes his stance almost hourly.

“We’ve got to do a better job of recognizing when we’ve got a big fat man that hates the knicks and all things positive regarding the knicks,” Nalod said.

IslesFat admitted that his angry persona could be a detriment in the real world. So he only uses it on the internet.

“It’s tough, but I’ve just got to kind of develop two personalities,” he said. “I’ve got to be able to go out there and be just a fatty with no girlfriend, and once my mom is asleep I’ve got to be another person.”

Asked how he might create that alter ego, IslesFat quipped, “I’m going to create a user FatIsles.”

REBOUNDS

The Ultimate Knicks Forum fortified their Kool Aid fan base by signing poster izybx . A nine-year veteran, izybx split last season between RealGM and MSG but posted sparingly in both places and was not banned by the UK. izybx has a career average of 1.29 posts per thread and could fill the UltimateKnicks’ Forum need for a positive-minded knick fan. djsunyc was expected to fill that role but has been sidelined all month because of lack of faith in the knicks. He is likely to miss the season opener Nov. 1. izybx said he had other boards to post on but chose UltimateKnicks in part because of his friendship with holfresh and Oohah. The three spent six months as positivity posters. ... UltimateKnicks exercised contract options on rvhoss, nixluva and sugarRayRichardson, locking them up through the 2007-8 season. ... UltimateKnicks waived their former kool-aid fanactic Bonn.

Funny Stuff man. Funny Stuff

LMFAO!

Thank goodness too, as humor is your only redeeming feature.

This is top-shelf comedy man... Funny sh!t

In the immortal words of Homer Simpson...

"It's funny because it's true."

2 things.

I am honored not to be in that story.

You have too much time on your hands.

I'm just amazed that rvhoss can type that much with his jacket on.



BTW, credit goes to Marv for finding rvhoss' picture.

lol...you took that as angry...the onion must be the most angry publication in the world.

I thought it was just funny.

But if you want to own something, feel free...I'm all yours.

just don't eat me.