Recently somebody was crying about how the NY media was so unfair and thank God for Howard Beck. Well here's Howard Beck's article from today's paper. Maybe it's not the media but the fact that Isiah has turned the Knicks in a complete and utter laughingstock.



So, How Many Knicks Does It Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

By HOWARD BECK
Published: March 6, 2006
When he is not the host of the Oscars, Jon Stewart is the host of a fake news show, so who better than Stewart to assess the state of the Knicks, who often look like a fake N.B.A. team?

Stewart, the star of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" and a Knicks fan, was recently asked by Sports Illustrated when he expected another championship parade.

"I'm not a believer in Eastern religions," Stewart told the magazine, "but when Walt (Clyde) Frazier is reincarnated as a point guard that can run the team. So that could be awhile."

A while indeed, since Frazier is alive and employed as the Knicks' television analyst.

It was not Stewart's best material, but then, he has been busy lately. And, perhaps, the 16-43 Knicks are not worth the brain power needed to generate top-shelf jokes. They are, however, a popular and easy target for comedians, commentators and satirists, professional and amateur.

The Knicks have been ridiculed by David Letterman and by "Saturday Night Live." They have been teased by the merry pranksters on the TNT set. They have been strafed, often, in Bill Simmons's humor column on espn.com. And they recently earned the gold medal of mockery — an article in the satirical newspaper, The Onion.

"Knicks Trade Draft Pick To Raptors In Exchange For Three Wins," reads the headline in The Onion's online edition. "I don't think there's any question that this immediately makes us a better team. Just look at the standings," Isiah Thomas, the Knicks' president, is quoted as saying in the spoof.

The Knicks have not been this wretchedly funny since Whoopi Goldberg starred as their coach in "Eddie." (And it might not be long before fans call for Whoopi to replace Coach Larry Brown.)

"Everybody's taking shots," guard Jamal Crawford said Saturday night in Milwaukee, after the Knicks won for the third time in 25 games. "But we'll be all right. We'll bounce back. We'll have the last laugh."

That, of course, could take some time.

There are just 23 games left in the Knicks' lost season. They have no hopes for a playoff berth or even a .500 record. Their roster is stuffed with overpriced players, many of whom are considered untradeable. They do not even have a first-round pick in the N.B.A. draft in June, having sent theirs to Chicago in the trade for center Eddy Curry.

Their payroll of $120 million is the highest in the league, while their winning percentage, .271, is the lowest, behind even the Charlotte Bobcats, who are in their second season of existence. Is it any wonder that the Knicks are everyone's favorite target?

Back in December, when the Knicks were merely disappointing, not yet revolting, Letterman featured them in a Top Ten list. There, under the heading of "Top Ten Signs Santa Is Mad At You," was "Got you Knicks season tickets."

A month ago, after the Knicks had sunk to 14-31, Tina Fey of "Saturday Night Live" weighed in on "Weekend Update":

"Epiphanny Prince, a 17-year-old New York girl, broke the city's high school girls basketball scoring record when she scored 113 points in a game this week, leading her team to a 137-32 victory. To be fair, they were playing the Knicks."

No one with the team has evoked more ire, fire and satire than Thomas, the team's architect since December 2004. Thomas has been zinged for his profligate spending, for acquiring too many shoot-first players and for presiding over this costly mess. He has become a favorite target of Simmons, a columnist on espn.com's offbeat Page 2.

Last month, Simmons moderated (in his head) the First Annual Atrocious G.M. Summit, at which Thomas and other N.B.A. executives traded strategies for creating awful teams.

"The key is to make people believe you're trying something that's never been done before," Simmons has Thomas say. "In my case, I always try to acquire the best guy in the trade, regardless of whether it's a good deal or not — then I can say I'm 'stockpiling assets,' which throws people off the trail a little bit."

Simmons, channeling Thomas, continues: "I like to float out rumors that we're 'arming ourselves with assets' to make a run at guys we could never realistically get — like K. G., Kobe or LeBron — because it gives our fans hope."

(Thomas, apparently, does not share Simmons's sense of humor. In a January interview with Stephen A. Smith on ESPN radio, Thomas said, "If I see this guy Bill Simmons, oh, it's gonna be a problem with me and him." Naturally, Simmons devoted two columns to the remark.)

Yukking it up at the Knicks' expense has not been limited to the professional humorists. The graphic artists who work for TNT took their shot last month, after the Knicks traded for Steve Francis and the $62.5 million left on his contract.

With a little cutting and pasting, TNT put Thomas on the Titanic, in the Leonardo DiCaprio role, saying, "I'm the king of the world!" Behind Thomas was the former Knick Micheal Ray Richardson, invoking his well-known quotation from 1982: "The ship be sinking."

Given that, it should be no surprise that ESPN's Marc Stein recently said the Knicks were "becoming a cartoon."

The Knicks can grin or not, but until the season ends, they have to bear it. In some cases, though, ignorance of pop culture is bliss.

"What's The Onion?" forward Malik Rose said about the Web site article. "I think it's kind of cool. Any publicity is good publicity."

With nothing else to play for, the Knicks could have a new goal for the final seven weeks. Perhaps they could end the Knicks bashing with an unexpected winning streak.

On the other hand, it would be no surprise if, say, Rob Corddry of "The Daily Show" shows up for a mock interview with James L. Dolan, the Madison Square Garden chairman.

One could imagine an unsuspecting Dolan telling Corddry, "It's unfortunate that we're not winning ... but it's not integral to the strategy right now."

Actually, Dolan did say that, in a real interview with real reporters last week.

Sometimes, the Knicks write their own punchlines.

"What's The Onion?" forward Malik Rose said about the Web site article. "I think it's kind of cool. Any publicity is good publicity."