Chuck Norris challenged a statue to a staring contest. Chuck remains undefeated.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

Chuck Norris, a priest, and a rabbi walked into a bar. They both got their asses roundhouse kicked.

Chuck Norris once hurled his body in the way of an 18 wheeler to save a baby, coincedently while performing his NFL style victory dance he spiked the baby into the ground and performed a perfect moonwalk.

When Chuck Norris was a baby, the doctor slapped him to see if he would cry. But Chuck Norris didn't cry, he merely stood up on the table and roundhouse kicked the doctor in the face.

Ford, realizing their mistake, recently changed their slogan to, "Built Chuck Norris tough".

Chuck Norris can screw a flathead screw into the wall with a phillips screwdriver.

Chuck Norris once made a movie using only the line, "I'm Chuck Norris" repeated hundreds of times. This movie never made it to the public because Vin Diesel was extremely jealous that Chuck Norris was the first one to come up with the idea of a movie involving street racing in the import scene. Vin destroyed all the movie footage, copyrighted the phrase "I'm Chuck Norris" and made The Fast and the Furious. In return Chuck Norris cast a spell on Vin Diesel that would make all his movies suck.