Houston Sues NBA For Rights To “Allan Houston Rule” Catchphrase

By Buster Gunning

As part of the new CBA agreement between the NBA and the Players Union, a new amnesty rule was put in place allowing each team to release one player from their roster without being penalized cap-wise. The rule was quickly dubbed “The Allan Houston Rule” referring to the oft-injured Knicks shooting guard who is currently draining the Knicks salary coffers at an alarming “max contract” rate.

One of the biggest surprises in the NBA is that the “Allan Houston Rule” was never used on Allan Houston; rather the Knicks instead chose to apply the rule to forward Jerome Williams. Despite the fact that the new rule was never applied to him, Allan Houston is currently in court taking on NBA officials in an attempt to land exclusive trademark rights to the term “Allan Houston Rule.”

Houston contends that since it is his name in the phrase, he should have all subsidiary and marketing rights to the catchphrase. He also wants a share of the profits to the wildly popular t-shirt worn by some NBA players that reads, “I survived the Allan Houston Rule and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” or the other best-seller, “The Allan Houston Rule Rules!”

In a statement taken from Mr. Houston’s lawyer, Allan Dershowitz, Houston expresses his intent on claiming the rights to this term.

“My client, Mr. Allan Houston, does not intend to take this thing lying down. It should not matter that he was not actually a victim to this rule, all that matters is the fact that it is indeed his name in the phrase itself. Mr. Houston intends to secure the phrase and any organization or person who intends to use this term for profit or otherwise must first retain Mr. Houston’s express written consent in perpetuity throughout the universe.”

NBA commissioner David Stern was not available for comment at this time, however, his assistant told me that while Mr. Stern is sympathetic to Mr. Houston’s complaints, he will not back down as the t-shirt sales are “far too vital” to the profitability of the NBA.

Please send your legal advice to: Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

Posted by curry32:

this was a joke