mreinman wrote:

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

blkexec wrote:

mreinman wrote:

gunsnewing wrote:I really want to get into horse racing. Go to Belmont etc. I really like following the triple crown. I'm a crappy gambler though. Finally put some money down on a horse who was dominating Yonkers and then he loses for the first time. I really get a kick out of the atmosphere and excitement leading up to those 2mins or so

I played many years of poker. Loved it and was really good at it. Studied the odds and read many many poker books.

wife was not happy and I let it all go for her

miss it badly but at least I am not consumed anymore and can concentrate on my other hobbies like this damn board

I'm in the same boat with the wife.

I thought I had it all figured out.....Been playing for years. Then I realized it really kept me away from the family and kids and job. Life was going down hill fast, so I had to stop (slow down...lol) Used to go every other day....now is like every other month.

Yep, been to weekly GA meetings.....Even when I didn't think I had a problem.....But I did it for the wife. I love those meetings because you're around like minded people and you develop a bond. Makes you accountable.

But I turned in my poker cards for bible study....Trying to live a purpose driven life. I can't explain to you in words how different my life feel. How easy it is to deflect negativity, when you see the bigger picture....Even if I go back and play poker now....It's a different feeling. It's not as exciting....I feel out of place. It's crazy.

I know exactly what you mean ... I too study bible and now all I need to do is cut back on the bottle.

Have not had a drink in 2 weeks and it actually feels pretty good.

2 weeks ago, I actually looked up local AA meetings.

Why is it that we always need to be addicted to something? ARGH!

So for now, no alcohol and back to smoking ... great

Humans are so emotional. We are no longer driven by survival instincts. Most of us have food and shelter and while the quality of those things may vary most in our areas have those basics covered, so we are driven by our feelings, our emotions. We feel "needs" but what are they based on? And why is it those things change so often?

The guy who ran my first baseball team was in AA and sober for many years. Ironically I knew him as a drunk in the resturant I used to work in. Bumped into him sober, started chatting baseball and ended up playing together for 10+ years. When I was going through my divorce I started drinking at a pace that only leads to one place, so I went to meetings with him for about a year. I stayed sober through that whole process.

I will simply say this: Mental health is not an accident. You need to work at it. 12 step programs... not always a hotbed of mental health, but the principles are excellent. Help your fellow. Be honest. Be accountable. Take an honest inventory of yourself. Do so daily. Get a relationship with what works for you and what works against you. Those fundamentals will put you on a good path in life.

On a happy note, my little Jayhawks won the title. Most on this board would appreciate our style of play... team defense. We easily had the best defense in the league and it was the only aspect of the game I really coached. With such limited practice time I just figured teaching them an offense was a waste of time, its all broken plays anyway, so our focus was always D, D and more D and taking care of the ball.

We werent a very big team, but we had speed, and defense is the way to get all 10 kids involved and the only thing Ill take credit for is getting them to take pride in it. Well, I scouted out our competition and the team we played had the best scorer in the league. He could hit 3s and was a beast in the paint. So my message was simple.. make him beat you with jumpers, nothing in the paint, pack the middle, control the boards and sure enough.. he got frustrated when the paint wasnt open and he settled for long jumpers and you guys know the rest. Im more relieved than anything! My kids were all good kids and played their asses off so I was just so happy for them all. This is the stuff life is about

Thanks for the post Fishmike ...

Congrats on your win ... don't discount my one time blessing! and prediction.

one question if I may ... since AA, do you ever dabble a bit or are done done?

I drink all the time... well, not "drinking" but have beverages. My experience with that fellowship led me to this conclusion: There are two types of addicts that end up there. Those with the "allergy" as they say. Those are the ones who once the booze hits the bloodstream all bets are off. They simply cant stop. My grandfather was like that. Once he had the first there was no stopping until he passed out. Thats about probably about 10% of the AA population, and for those folks its a program for life.

The other 90% are folks who's drinking went from being a symptom of their issues to the main issue. Life is tough, drinking can help with alot. It can lubricate social outings. Anyone can name a 100 things that can be better or more fun over some pints with your buds. Dinner tastes better with wine, and its sure more fun to cook over a few as well... feelings.. we are talking about good feelings. The problem is when you NEED some good feelings and turn to booze (or drugs, they are the same). Maybe its cover up or not think about something. Maybe its simply habit and its slowly progressing. You get the idea. However its very easy to get sucked into it, and when that happens the downward spiral starts, and then the question is simply what is going to break that pattern?

Ive done it all. When I was a teen it was drugs and booze. That got me in rehab and my first forray into the 12 step world. I wasnt 18 yet. My big motivation for staying sober was I was aware of how much I hurt myself and my family and needed some time before I even considered dabbling. I viewed it as I lost my getting high privledges. After that I stayed totally booze and drug free until my 30s. Remember when I was 19 I went through cancer etc, so my 20s were about playing sports and building my body up. Getting high or drinking was an afterthought. Eventually I just drank because I wanted to. I overdid it a few times, but I never had the urge or felt any need to drink. I did when I wanted and that was it. Its all frame of mind and emotional state of being for me. When I was getting divorced I went full steam into women and gambling. Getting laid all the time as a recent divorcee sounds exciting but it sucked. It was just a chase, with no fufillment at the end (well, maybe a little but you get the idea). Once you have been in a loving and nurturing relationship whoring around felt cheap to me. It didnt stop me but eventually I asked myself (self honesty) how low do I want to go and feel? So I stopped. Same with gambling. I tore through offensive amounts of money in short periods only to ask myself again (self honesty) how low do I want to go? How much longer do I want to beat myself up?

Lucky for me I had some experience both personally and observed in breaking those patterns of behavior and did OK. I dont mess around outside my marriage. The opportunities are there but the reality is simple... thats a path to NOT feeling good. I know that. I love to gamble but I only enjoy it if I dont NEED to gamble. A couple trips to the track in the summer fall under the category of healthy entertainment. Drugs and booze.. I wont lie, I love the splif, but I have kids and that stuff cant be around. So I pick my spots. Jamming (guitar) with my buddies. A walk in the woods alone with my dogs, a night out with the wife.... there are appropriate times and not. When Im balanced Im fine. When Im not I know I need to seek other avenues like the gym, movies, playing music.. Ive learned to invest in a nice bag of tricks I can go to that produce positives, as opposed to the negatives that getting high under those times will produce. Obviously spiritual endevours are huge in that regard. When I feel those lows I focus on helping others, and that may simply be injecting more time into family. I coach my sons BB teams. I jam with my 14 year old daughter who is all into music. Ive gone to my both older kid's schools 5 years in a row to do an astronomy lecture for the kids and they loved it. Ive brought my acoustic into my toddler's day care and absolutly crushed a killed version of "Wheels on the Bus", as well as "There Aint no Bugs on me." The greater the body of work I build of the positive stuff the farther away from the darkness and needs I mentioned above.

Kinda long winded but work is slow

damn fishmike ... that was a great read!

The natural peaks and valleys of the brain and moods are hard to deal with. Some days you feel like you are on top of the world and everything is positive, snd some days are all gloom and doom and downright depressing. For a while I alcohol did the trick for me but after a while, it just has the opposite affect and turns everything into gloom and doom

Long cold winters don't help either ... I need warm weather so that I can go play tennis and bike with my kids - and get my endorphins pumping again.

Never was into drugs ... was always smart enough to stay away especially with my addictive personality traits.

Gambling? MMMMMMMMMMM .... love it but can't do it no more ... Track is a fantastic idea!!

Next ... I need to quit smoking (AGAIN) but if I do, then I may seek to replace it again with a more harmful addiction :-(

Since I have hit 40 I have been wishing everyday that I was 20 again ... mid life crisis? Perhaps ... if it is than I hope that its gone by 50!

Big ups to the addicts.....I feel your pain and enjoy both of your stories. I can relate to almost everything that was said, so I will save the readers eyes and not repeat.

Great writeup Fish and Mreinman....Thank you for sharing your stories. I've been told the more we humble ourselves, the closer we become to being healed. The healing starts when you bring the darkness into the light. I'm positive you guys honesty is the start of a healing process for whoever reads this thread. Including me.

Congrats on the win Fish.....You are a man that follows my same phylosophy. And this is why at 40 plus, I can still hang with the young guys, as a player or coach. This is why I've been so successful all these years. People don't understand the power of defense. And how defense leads to offense. I never worried about offense during any of my championship runs. Basically, just get out of my way, or now I say set me a pick, and we are good. But defense was always the key, because it makes everybody accountable.

Now I know when we get together, it's going to be a 2 drink minimum.
The funny part of geting together, is that I've been saying this for 10 years.....But now that I live in Maryland, I have no excuses. It was harder when I stayed in Tucson, AZ.....

Now back to agreeing and disagreeing on Knicks and Phils phylosophy. I love hearing people talk about tanking, when it's really called losing while trying to win!

We need to defend our asses off in the game and we need to defend are azzes off against ourselves and our daemons in life.

You sound like the type of player that I am and care to be. I am not the greatest talent but I defend my butt off, set lots of picks, rebound like a mad man even though I am pretty short, and take and hit smart open highly efficient shots. There are many with more talent on the courts than me but I understand what it takes to win. And, nothing pisses me off more than a selfish teammate who does not defend and takes bad shots.

Lately I have been moving over to tennis so that I can transition into a sport that I can play for many more years.

mreinman wrote:thanks blkexec.

We need to defend our asses off in the game and we need to defend are azzes off against ourselves and our daemons in life.

You sound like the type of player that I am and care to be. I am not the greatest talent but I defend my butt off, set lots of picks, rebound like a mad man even though I am pretty short, and take and hit smart open highly efficient shots. There are many with more talent on the courts than me but I understand what it takes to win. And, nothing pisses me off more than a selfish teammate who does not defend and takes bad shots.

Lately I have been moving over to tennis so that I can transition into a sport that I can play for many more years.

as far as the style of play and player you guys will get a kick out of this story...

My son wanted to play BB last year so I signed him up for the local rec league. I was like cool, but I didnt know he had any interest and he said he wanted to stay in shape for soccer lol. Im like OK buddy and sign him up. League blasts out an email saying if team parents dont step up to coach they will have to dissolve some teams. So thus starts my coaching career.

Last year my son was terrible. No skills at all, and he ran like bambi on ice. This year he started less terrible, but the thing I love about coaching him is he's all effort, and loves to play defense as thats his role in soccer as well. We practiced and over the course of the year he not only became a good defender he became one of our best (still ZERO offensive skills). He's a long skinny kid and he grew athleticially this year enough to hang with most kids. He energized the team by guarding a good player, always busting it down court to break up fast breaks, diving on the floor... he was just unrelenting.

He also scored 1 point the entire season, and that was on a loose ball foul when he was rebounding (1-2 at the line). Anytime he got the ball he would pass. Well he was so pumped for the title game he ran layups all afternoon in the driveway. Game time comes and its early in the 4th and we are starting to put some distance against the other team.. Ill say we were up 8(ish). Luke grabs a rebound and just starts pushing the ball upcourt (something he never does) and just never stops. Goes right through the defense and banks home a runner like it was nothing. The bench, every parent and the kids on the floor all went nuts and mobbed him as the other team called time. Best part was he was totally embarrassed by the attention but had an ear to ear grin. The hustle kid made a great play. It was awesome... exactly what youth sports is about.

Cheers guys.

gunsnewing wrote:wow Fish I didn't know Jared Jeffries was your son. The ultimate team playerm
Great Story!