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The Absolute Last Damn Carmelo Anthony Thread, Ever
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jrodmc
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12/18/2012  9:42 AM
He graciously disappears in order to allow the saviour of the Taiwanese people to have the limelight in what was otherwise a hum drum season so far.

He manages to allow the teams somehow connected to him to remain at or even above .500 as a token of his magniminity.

AUTOADVERT
Nalod
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12/18/2012  2:11 PM

He lowers the bar because the bar is his........

When Homers read his "WB" tatoo, they think "Coming home" is in Manhatten.....

He uses numbing male enhancement cream so you won't feel the starphuch........

jrodmc
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12/19/2012  9:36 AM
His magnetism is actually what keeps the solar radiation at bay.

He fixed the ozone holes, quietly, without fan fare.

Time Magazine had already named him POTY, but he advised them to give it to our POTUS, again.

He's not hurt, he's actually lending his ankle and knee to some other, lower tier players, in order for them to advance their careers.

Jerry West was actually thinking "What Would Melo Do?" when he posed for the logo.

misterearl
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12/19/2012  10:09 PM    LAST EDITED: 12/19/2012  10:10 PM
Carmelo's baby shoes were not bronzed, they were platinumed.

The moment Carmelo enters the MSG parking lot the official scorer puts 30 points in the box score, even on off days.

Carmelo's smile is so bright we gotta wear shades.

once a knick always a knick
jrodmc
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12/21/2012  9:09 AM
He will spend the Mayan end of the world replicating everything so no one will notice anything happened.
OGkush121
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12/21/2012  11:19 AM
He has already created a new World during the 2 games he missed prior to the Brooklyn game, he's just waiting on the right opportunity to transport us all there.

He didn't cut open his finger, he discoreved a dimensional portal while diving for the ball and in mid air figured it's safer for everyone if he keeps hold of it.

The reason he isn't scoring 50 a night is because he wants other players to have a false sense of security about actualy being able to compete.

His smiles actualy work the way people think Facebook likes do.

His farts smell so nice they use them on cars and such for the "new car smell".

The reason the Knicks didn't win the championship the past 2 seasons is because Melo wanted LeBron to get a ring first, so he wouldn't feel too bad about Melo getting the next 10.

Nalod
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12/21/2012  11:29 AM

His smile weighs heavy on Amare's knees.....
jrodmc
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12/21/2012  5:54 PM
Even Steven A. is less obnoxious when interviewing him.

He truly is America's basketball player.

He wears armsleeves and headbands and other paraphenalia strictly for the economic benefits it creates for the global manufacturing industry.

He wears number 7 because, naturally, it's the biblical number of perfection.

Each new day in MeloWorld is just another reason to smile.

Anji
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12/21/2012  6:00 PM
Did anybody hear Melo laughing at having to fit in to Linsanity??? Priceless
"Really, all Americans want is a cold beer, warm p***y, and some place to s**t with a door on it." - Mr. Ford
babyKnicks
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12/21/2012  6:00 PM
Funny stuff. I think.
Let's go Knicks. That's amare
jrodmc
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12/21/2012  6:10 PM
Anji wrote:Did anybody hear Melo laughing at having to fit in to Linsanity??? Priceless

Being interviewed by a clown like Steven A has to make you laugh at some point. I mean, seriously, could you keep a straight face listening to that guy?

I like how Melo followed it up though; "I was Linsanity's biggest supporter. I told Lin, 'they're going to build you up..., but when it's time for you to fall, I'll be here for you'..."

Brought tears to my eyes...

Anji
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12/21/2012  6:37 PM    LAST EDITED: 12/21/2012  6:42 PM
jrodmc wrote:
Anji wrote:Did anybody hear Melo laughing at having to fit in to Linsanity??? Priceless

Being interviewed by a clown like Steven A has to make you laugh at some point. I mean, seriously, could you keep a straight face listening to that guy?

I like how Melo followed it up though; "I was Linsanity's biggest supporter. I told Lin, 'they're going to build you up..., but when it's time for you to fall, I'll be here for you'..."

Brought tears to my eyes...


I wonder if Melo told him that Godfather style with a plate of pasta.


'they're going to build you up...(takes a bite of stuffed shells)
'but when it's time for you to fall.........(takes his napkin and wipes his face then throws it into plate)
'(Stands up and grabs Lin by the shoulder, looking him square in the eyes) I'll be here for you'...
*violin and cello play*
*Melo gives Lin a little slap on the cheek and has Woodson drape his coat over his shoulders, exit dinner*


"Really, all Americans want is a cold beer, warm p***y, and some place to s**t with a door on it." - Mr. Ford
Nalod
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12/22/2012  8:35 AM
Anji wrote:
jrodmc wrote:
Anji wrote:Did anybody hear Melo laughing at having to fit in to Linsanity??? Priceless

Being interviewed by a clown like Steven A has to make you laugh at some point. I mean, seriously, could you keep a straight face listening to that guy?

I like how Melo followed it up though; "I was Linsanity's biggest supporter. I told Lin, 'they're going to build you up..., but when it's time for you to fall, I'll be here for you'..."

Brought tears to my eyes...


I wonder if Melo told him that Godfather style with a plate of pasta.


'they're going to build you up...(takes a bite of stuffed shells)
'but when it's time for you to fall.........(takes his napkin and wipes his face then throws it into plate)
'(Stands up and grabs Lin by the shoulder, looking him square in the eyes) I'll be here for you'...
*violin and cello play*
*Melo gives Lin a little slap on the cheek and has Woodson drape his coat over his shoulders, exit dinner*



Well done!

Nalod
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12/22/2012  1:39 PM
Melo could ask everyone to leave, but instead he gets two tech's. He is polite to his guests.
jrodmc
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12/31/2012  1:34 PM
Melo is the reason for this season.

jrodmc
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1/3/2013  11:00 AM
He misses game tying shots on purpose, so as to build a persona of perserverance through adversity. Winning all the games would be just too easy.
It also aids JR's mental well being and re-assuring him of his place in the new Knick universe.

He has been seen rebounding for Novak during extra after-practice shooting drills long into the night. He smiles approvingly and lets Steve know this slump too will pass, and says "I cannot believe Pop cut you..." Novak feels the love. The Spurs will feel his wrath.

NYKBocker
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1/3/2013  11:15 AM
He wears body armor not to protect his body but to hide his 6 pack abs as to not offend any other player.
gunsnewing
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1/3/2013  11:17 AM
lol I think he is hiding something else
ChuckBuck
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1/3/2013  11:54 AM
gunsnewing wrote:lol I think he is hiding something else

Moobs?

jrodmc
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1/7/2013  12:05 PM    LAST EDITED: 1/7/2013  12:08 PM
He channels nagging injury pain into adrenline-filled 40 point performances.

He purposely only scored 1 point less than the entire Magic team in the fourth quarter to ensure they still had some face left. The man's just insanely gracious.

He's prepaid McRoberts next year's worth of counseling sessions.

He's insured that Sheed gets royalties every time he does the "three to the head" symbol.

He took over the fourth quarter specifically to let everyone concentrate on improving their defense.

Woody gave him his parking space, but Melo donated it to charity.

He parks in the shuttle zone and runs to the buildings. Especially in the rain and snow. Yes, in his bare feet. And he does carry JR on his back.

The Absolute Last Damn Carmelo Anthony Thread, Ever

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