Pumping With Hans And The Answer Franz
Announcer: Good evening. And welcome again to "Pumping Up With Hans & Franz", the informative training program for the serious weightlifter.
Answer Franz: Hello! We're back!
Hans: I am Hans.
Franz: And I am The Answer Franz.
Together: And we just want to.. [ clap ] Pump.. you up!
Hans: Alright. But before we can pump you up tonight, we have to answer a piece of viewer mail.
Answer Franz: Ya. Ya. This is a letter we received from a TMS. I'll only read an excerpt, so I don't go into his loser details. "Dear Hans & Answer Franz: I wonder why Larry Hughes does not play instead of Marcus Landry you are so mo..., so mo..."
Hans: Moronic.
Answer Franz: "..Your moronic posts, and have wondered why you don't open your own Knicks site. Maybe you are too stupid." [ crumples letter ] You know, maybe you thought this letter would make us angry; but it only makes us sad.
Hans: Really, ya. We are sad, you know, because anyone who calls us "stupid" is really just jealous. Because their girlfriend looks at us, then looks at him, and realzies she's cuddling up with a little girly-man!
Answer Franz: Ya. Ya, girly-man. Hear me now and believe me later TMS - but don't think about it ever, because, if you try to think, you might cause a flabulance!
Hans: Ya!
Answer Franz: Poor little girly-man, alone in his girly-house!
Hans: Sorry, Mr. Girly-Man, but here's a treat for your girlfriend!
[ Hans & Franz flex their muscles egotistically ]
Hans: Alright.
Answer Franz: Oh, and thank you so much for the letter. [ put crumpled letter in his mouth and swallows ] Besides, I am so looking forward to see if Jonathan Bender builds on his 7' pumpitude of Thursday night in scoring, blocked shots and rebounding... to compliments the glue of Jeffries at 6'11 and the size of the almost pumped 6'10 Gallinari, who has shown the ability to defend the post. Or did you watch the Atlanta Hawks game?
Hans: Ya! Ya, don't think for a minute he's not eating it, because beleive me he is!
Answer Franz: That was one delicious piece of girly-man. Just like that 6'5 185 pound girly-man Larry Hughes.
Hans: Ya! You know, we're not here to eat. We're here... to...
Together: Pump.. [ clap ] ..you up!
Answer Franz: Oh, and by the way, we'd like to take this time to announce the opening of our new gym in Wayne, New Jersey.
Hans: That's right. Ya! It's called the Pumpatorium! Ya! And soon you will meet Marcus Landry. He works out at our new gym.
Answer Franz: Ya, you know, because we don't have time to babysit you losers. But believe me, we have trained him well.
Hans: Ya! And he's one tough 6'7 230 pound biscuit, believe me! Ya, come on out here, Marcus!
Answer Franz: Marcus, come on out!
[ Marcus Landry runs to the scorers table to check in Knicks game ]. Landry brings 45 extra pounds of hustle and muscle to throw around in traffic where the big boys bang.
Marcus Landry: Hey, Hans! How you doing, Answer Franz?
Answer Franz: Yes! do you ever show pity on those flabby losers?
Landry: No! These losers, they need discipline! They're fat, lazy pigs, who should be only dead! You hear me? Dead! Dead! Dead!
Hans: Ya! Ya! Alright. Interesting. Now, tell us, Marcus, what would you do with a girly-man who wrote a baby letter?
Landry: Here me now, and here me now, girly-man TMS! Don't be thinking I don't come to practice and pummel the slender, girly man flabbitude of that 6'5 185 pound Larry Hughes and then can't come to your house, and pummel your head with a 2x4 and knock some sense into your fat, lazy lard-filled ass! You should be dead! You hear me! Dead, dead, dead, dead!!
[ Hans & Franz subdue Marcus Landry ]
Hans: Alright. Alright.
Answer Franz: Enough talk.
Together, Marcus Landry now joined by Duhon, Gallo (in his spider man pose), Nate (flexing and baring his teeth), Lee (glaring), the Mayor (shyly), (even Jonathan Bender and Jared Jeffries) yoots Toney Douglas and Jordan Hill: We're not here to talk. We're here to pump.. [ clap ] ..you up!