Posted by bitty41:


Why would she lie to you? Not many women are going to flat out cut you down a guy and say "I don't dig you stop calling me". Because is anyone really ready for that level of honesty? It's not about deferring blame it's just the way things are because unless you've guys made some type of commitment to one another then she probably doesn't feel like she owes you an explanation.

Posted by Allanfan20:

Bitty, I agree with just about every thing you said except this one thing:

Be careful when asking your friends particularly males for advice. Women are usually seen as the bitter gender but believe me there are plenty of men out there who are very bitter and in turn have usually very low opinions of women in general. So almost all of the advice you get from these guys will only hurt you if you act on it.

I'm not gonna get into stereotypes. Men and women can be bitter. I've seen a lot of it on both ends, and for that matter, I USED to be bitter. So you're right that you definitely want to ask a bitter person for advise on the opposite sex. However, I think it's VERY important to be talking to your friends and taking their advise if they aren't bitter and if they have a good head on their shoulders and if they've been observant on things that happen around them.

However, in the end, it's YOU that has to do the work and you have to have your own plan and YOU have to live your own life and do the things that make you happy. More importantly, you have to make sure that you NEVER put yourself in a position that you need the opposite sex (Or same sex for the gays) to validate your life.

Your faith, friends, family, career aspirations, financial priorities, enjoyment, health and your passions should ALL come before opposite sex. The women or men should come automatically come when you get all of that straightened out.

Posted by Allanfan20:

Bitty, I agree with just about every thing you said except this one thing:

Be careful when asking your friends particularly males for advice. Women are usually seen as the bitter gender but believe me there are plenty of men out there who are very bitter and in turn have usually very low opinions of women in general. So almost all of the advice you get from these guys will only hurt you if you act on it.

I'm not gonna get into stereotypes. Men and women can be bitter. I've seen a lot of it on both ends, and for that matter, I USED to be bitter. So you're right that you definitely want to ask a bitter person for advise on the opposite sex. However, I think it's VERY important to be talking to your friends and taking their advise if they aren't bitter and if they have a good head on their shoulders and if they've been observant on things that happen around them.

However, in the end, it's YOU that has to do the work and you have to have your own plan and YOU have to live your own life and do the things that make you happy. More importantly, you have to make sure that you NEVER put yourself in a position that you need the opposite sex (Or same sex for the gays) to validate your life.

Your faith, friends, family, career aspirations, financial priorities, enjoyment, health and your passions should ALL come before opposite sex. The women or men should come automatically come when you get all of that straightened out.

Posted by Bippity10:

Bitty: Good advice on this. Although I have to agree with Hank that most normal guys would love for a girl to be honest. Nothing worse than having things go well, and the girl then just blowing you off. You like her so you don't know if you should just move on with your life or continue to worry that something horrible happened to her(yes we know that if she doesn't call she probably isnt' interested but we hold onto hope anway). I think at times women have a problem telling a guy they aren't interested and that's why they avoid the conversation. Meanwhile again, most everyday men would prefer to just be told to buzz off.

Posted by Allanfan20:

And that is why you don't place your eggs in one basket, too early, on your part or her part. She burned her bridge. With that said, anyone who says they haven't made the mistake is LYING!

Posted by GKFv2:

Posted by Solace:

This is common. Back when I used to date, this happened a few times and seems to be very common for almost everyone.

My interpretation is that it's usually one of these three things:
A) They aren't interested and don't have the backbone to say so. If it's this one, you'll likely never hear from the chick again.
B) They had multiple dates lined up on different nights and liked one of the other guys more. They don't have the backbone to say anything unless pressed. I think this is a sleezy approach, but apparently common.
C) They recently broke up with an ex, and although she was going out on dates, she got back together with her ex. You're not likely to get a response back on this one, either.

But seriously, if a female is quiet for more than 5 days early in the relationship, she's probably not interested. That's been my experience -- because the ones that are interested call multiple times a day.

You're probably right. But why lie about being "too busy" with work? I guess that's where the backbone thing comes in to play. It just makes no sense to me for her not to be interested. This girl was really into me, I'm not just tooting my own horn. But from one day to the next, with absolutely nothing to trigger it, she just kind went into the silent treatment. Maybe she is too busy or maybe she doesn't have a backbone. Either way, I'm not waiting around to find out. She can come to me. I'm moving ahead.

Posted by GKFv2:

LOL. BTW in response to my original post to this topic, bitty ans Solace were right. The person had no guts to tell me they were interested in someone else. I have since moved on.

[Edited by - gkfv2 on 01-07-2009 05:13 AM]