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OT: can i buy you a drink?
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EnySpree
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6/6/2007  10:31 AM
Yeah bonn bitty is a she. She can kick ass in a bball debate. Ask hardcore, silver and woodsman.
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kam77
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6/6/2007  11:06 AM
Posted by Bonn1997:

Have any of you ever asked a girl out, had her say no, kept trying, and eventually had her say yes? Just curious because I used to try this method when I was younger (like 17 to 20) but I've concluded that it only works in the movies!

D'oh! Noooo bonn you were being an idiot. you dont badger a girl for a drink unless you want her to lose all respect for you and tell her friends at the club what a loser you are.

you shouldn't ever buy a girl ANYthing unless she earns it. don't be such a schmo. actually, be a loser. it makes it easier for the non-losers to point out and make fun of at the bar while the girls laugh and go home with us.

never GIVE a girl a damn thing she hasn't earned. If you casually ask her to hang out and things are going well... then hasn't she earned it? She's spending time with you. But with a girl you don't know who you approach in a bar who hasn't given you the time of day.... to her you're offering gifts???

WTF!!!
lol @ being BANNED by Martin since 11/07/10 (for asking if Mr. Earl had a point). Really, Martin? C'mon. This is the internet. I've seen much worse on this site. By Earl himself. Drop the hypocrisy.
bitty41
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6/6/2007  11:14 AM
Posted by EnySpree:

Lol @ bitty.

If its a date then a dude should pay especially if the guy is the one that asked.

I was talking about a friend. A friend I don't plan on ever screwing again or having any other relations other than friendship. Like my ex. We are friends now so if we hang out, we are chillin like homies. She doesn't want me back and doesn't want any benifits. I'm not her man nor are we dating. Why should I have to pay for her every single time? We friends. Its not only her but all of my female friends.

What's your rule on that?

She's looking for a free ride. If she's not willing to put up her end of paying than I wouldn't go out of my way to hang out with her. Some women do try to take advantage try not to fall into that trap. Let her know up front that you guys are going spillting the bill. You shouldn't have to fork over money based solely on her being a woman and you being a man. If you guys switch off sometimes you pay other times she pays thats okay. I don't that even with some of my girlfriends. When we go out to dinner sometimes one of us will pay or sometimes we spilit the bill.
Panos
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6/6/2007  11:35 AM
Posted by bitty41:
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

Oh no you didn't! Guys please heed my words very closely: there is nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy and him looking towards you to pay. Call it old-fashioned report me to the woman's movement I don't care. Im sorry you ask a woman out to dinner you should absolutely pay. At least for the first date now me I would offer to pay but if the guy just flat out says here's the bill you will get the "I'll call you" line with a phone call never coming. If you don't even offer to pay you come off as seeming cheap or too broke to date neither of which increases your chances for a second date.

Me personally if a guy pays for dinner and if we have drinks afterwards I'll insist on paying for the drinks or if we go for dessert somewhere I'll insist in that situation. Dinner don't think pull out your wallet and pay for the damn dinner.

While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?
Allanfan20
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6/6/2007  11:42 AM
It's not gender getting a free ride though. It's all about what we value in society. 2 things we value are this: 1) The guy has to make the first move. 2) The person asking the other person out on a date has to pay. Hence, by default, the guy has to pay on the first date.

So in terms of that, I don't get upset over, but I DO get upset when women EXPECT to get constantly coddled and ALWAYS want a free ride and say "A guy MUST bring me flowers and candy and such and such."

I'm fine with the romance, but when the girl comes to expect the guy to go out of his way to do a lot of stuff while most of the time, the girl just sits to enjoy it and says "But he'll get sex" even though she knows perfectly well she wants sex too.

Maybe that's just a Long Island thing, but it's something I've observed from many women. Not from ALL, but from MANY, and I don't wish to be around a girl like that, and if it means I'll never be with a girl, then so be it.
“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do NOT do that thing.”- Dwight Schrute
bitty41
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6/6/2007  11:55 AM
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.
Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  11:57 AM
Posted by bitty41:
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.
I don't know you're age (and I know not to ask a woman her age either!) but I think it might be a generation gap. I'm 28 now and the women I've gone out with have always taken their purses out to pay for their half before I could even offer to pay.
Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  11:58 AM
Posted by kam77:
Posted by Bonn1997:

Have any of you ever asked a girl out, had her say no, kept trying, and eventually had her say yes? Just curious because I used to try this method when I was younger (like 17 to 20) but I've concluded that it only works in the movies!

D'oh! Noooo bonn you were being an idiot. you dont badger a girl for a drink unless you want her to lose all respect for you and tell her friends at the club what a loser you are.

you shouldn't ever buy a girl ANYthing unless she earns it. don't be such a schmo. actually, be a loser. it makes it easier for the non-losers to point out and make fun of at the bar while the girls laugh and go home with us.

never GIVE a girl a damn thing she hasn't earned. If you casually ask her to hang out and things are going well... then hasn't she earned it? She's spending time with you. But with a girl you don't know who you approach in a bar who hasn't given you the time of day.... to her you're offering gifts???

WTF!!!

Yeah, I stopped that approach a long time ago. I was a clueless teenager. Now I'm a little less clueless and a little older!
Panos
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6/6/2007  12:07 PM
Posted by bitty41:
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.

That's crap. A date is a mutual thing. A woman shouldn't have to be rewarded with a free meal. If she doesn't want to be on the date, she shouldn't go. What difference who asked who? And what's this "bunch of times" crap? Puhlease. If a guy pays the first 5 dates, that girl will never reach for it. Now I know this is reality, but it's still crap.


[Edited by - panos on 06-06-2007 12:07 PM]
Allanfan20
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6/6/2007  12:17 PM
Panos, it's one of our values in American culture. The person asking someone on the first date pays. Nuff said. After awhile, yes, the chick should be forking over some money. Who the fudge wants to date a golddigger?

Panos, if you don't like it, either find one of the absolute rare girls who insist on paying just for her. I have met a couple people like that, but they insist on doing this all the time. Or, try to change the values and prolly get laughed at and humiliated. Or move to a place with a different culture, b/c it's NOT gonna change here. Might as well not complain about it if you're gonna stick with this one.
“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do NOT do that thing.”- Dwight Schrute
Pharzeone
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6/6/2007  12:23 PM
Posted by Bonn1997:
Posted by bitty41:
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.
I don't know you're age (and I know not to ask a woman her age either!) but I think it might be a generation gap. I'm 28 now and the women I've gone out with have always taken their purses out to pay for their half before I could even offer to pay.

You have Player skills. I would like to meet women such as these you speak of. My experiences are that women are in general cheap. I once dated one of my managers and she still expected me to pay for everything and we both knew that she made more money in a week than I could in a month. Now that's not right.
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Nalod
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6/6/2007  12:24 PM
Posted by Bonn1997:

Have any of you ever asked a girl out, had her say no, kept trying, and eventually had her say yes? Just curious because I used to try this method when I was younger (like 17 to 20) but I've concluded that it only works in the movies!

Like Anthony Michael Hall in "Sixteen Candles"? Even your pathetic little life has not measured up to even the geekiest of movie caractures.
EnySpree
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6/6/2007  12:30 PM
Its a huge double standard with courting and dating.It kinda makes me angry a litle.

See I love me some women, but nowadays women are very different. I should say the younger ones, mostly. I'm 27. I find myself attracted to older women cuz I feel they appreciate the time spent and the whole romance of it all. Younger women just want to see where you can take them.

Its the game of dating buy as you get older that gets tired. I myself would love to meet someone that respected my life as much I would like to respect theirs.

Now I have dated women that I have treated out on a date often with no problem because the girl was way thoughtful. She would do **** like buy some knicks tickets or pick me up some stupid **** that she knows I love. Women don't do that anymore.
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Nalod
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6/6/2007  12:32 PM
Posted by Bonn1997:
Posted by bitty41:
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.
I don't know you're age (and I know not to ask a woman her age either!) but I think it might be a generation gap. I'm 28 now and the women I've gone out with have always taken their purses out to pay for their half before I could even offer to pay.


A women who offers to pay before you could even offer is really telling you she will not beheld to any obligation at that moment and your just lucky she did not bolt out the bathroom window. That or the bars on the window kept her in.
Nalod
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6/6/2007  12:32 PM
Posted by Bonn1997:
Posted by bitty41:
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

Oh no you didn't! Guys please heed my words very closely: there is nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy and him looking towards you to pay. Call it old-fashioned report me to the woman's movement I don't care. Im sorry you ask a woman out to dinner you should absolutely pay. At least for the first date now me I would offer to pay but if the guy just flat out says here's the bill you will get the "I'll call you" line with a phone call never coming. If you don't even offer to pay you come off as seeming cheap or too broke to date neither of which increases your chances for a second date.

Me personally if a guy pays for dinner and if we have drinks afterwards I'll insist on paying for the drinks or if we go for dessert somewhere I'll insist in that situation. Dinner don't think pull out your wallet and pay for the damn dinner.
You're female???

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BasketballJones
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6/6/2007  12:36 PM
Courtship is tricky and there's no one-size-fits all approach. My girlfriend likes to have the door held open for her, and likes it if I wait for her to go through a door first. Most women seem to like that.

I grew up in the 70's and the women in my family were very strongly into the Women's Liberation movement, and would get mad if I held open a door or something like that. So I never really learned to be chivalrous until my late 20's.

People with different backgrounds probably have different expectations for what will happen in courtship. If you're interested in someone and you're sensitive, you'll do what you need to do.
https:// It's not so hard.
Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  12:42 PM
Posted by Nalod:
Posted by Bonn1997:
Posted by bitty41:
While you may be right, bitty, I don't see why it should be so. This is the 21st century, and supposedly we have gender equality. Both sexes work. So why should women get a free ride?

Im sorry but if you ask a woman out and than expect her to pay you are a complete tool for pulling a stunt like that. Now if she asks you out or if you've been out a bunch of times and she still won't foot the bill okay I can see your point. Women hardly get a free ride everything has its price. Whatever your standing is in the world and this includes dating.
I don't know you're age (and I know not to ask a woman her age either!) but I think it might be a generation gap. I'm 28 now and the women I've gone out with have always taken their purses out to pay for their half before I could even offer to pay.


A women who offers to pay before you could even offer is really telling you she will not beheld to any obligation at that moment and your just lucky she did not bolt out the bathroom window. That or the bars on the window kept her in.

Yeah sometimes it's that they're not romantically interested. But even among the ones that were interested, they always offered to pay for themselves. It might be that women in grad school want to prove that they're on an equal level with men.

[Edited by - Bonn1997 on 06-06-2007 12:44 PM]
bitty41
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6/6/2007  1:31 PM
I think some of you are trying to overanalyze as a way to explain away your behavior. I'm 25 and I grew up in a family of 3 strong older sisters and of course my mother. Now were all very indpendent I didn't grow up in a household were I was pretty much being bred to get married one day and have children. So im not a "daddy's little princess".

When it comes to dating the whole issue of who pays is more about showing some class. Sure you can be a cheap bastard if you want make the woman pay and shout "hey its the 21st century get with the program" but at the end of the day you still come off as cheap and not someone to be taken seriously for dating. But I am not in anyway absolving women you try to take advantage for free meals, drinks, and movie tickets.

Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  2:03 PM
Posted by bitty41:

I think some of you are trying to overanalyze as a way to explain away your behavior. I'm 25 and I grew up in a family of 3 strong older sisters and of course my mother. Now were all very indpendent I didn't grow up in a household were I was pretty much being bred to get married one day and have children. So im not a "daddy's little princess".

When it comes to dating the whole issue of who pays is more about showing some class. Sure you can be a cheap bastard if you want make the woman pay and shout "hey its the 21st century get with the program" but at the end of the day you still come off as cheap and not someone to be taken seriously for dating. But I am not in anyway absolving women you try to take advantage for free meals, drinks, and movie tickets.
Having each person pay for themselves qualifies as a cheap bastard? Wow; you make it sound like the guy is asking the woman to pay for him too!
Solace
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6/6/2007  2:14 PM
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

It's not broke people. It's women. Not all women, though, but the average woman, yes. I've had this with female friends over time, where they have expectations of getting a free meal or drink because they're female. Female coworkers are the exception; they don't pull that for whatever reason. But friends, yes. Girlfriends, even worse. I hate when I'm asked to pay when it's NOT a date. Or when it is a date and they know you're paying, so they spend MUCH MORE than they would've if you weren't paying. You hear excuses like, "oh i'm so broke. I can't afford it." Then you see them buy two packs of cigarettes in one night and spend $5 on lotto, while holding one of her eight $100 pocketbooks. Lying b!tch.

If not for my current girlfriend, I would've lost all faith in women.
[quote]Posted by Nalod:

A women who offers to pay before you could even offer is really telling you she will not beheld to any obligation at that moment and your just lucky she did not bolt out the bathroom window. That or the bars on the window kept her in.

This is VERY true. At least for a first date. I had it happen to me, once (my first date ever), that the woman (or should I say girl?) was absolutely INSISTING on paying. I didn't let her... and about half an hour later realized why she was insisting so much. I later found out that she only went out on the date to honor our agreement to go out two weeks earlier, and had already met another guy she liked a few days before, but went out with me instead of admitting the truth (I found out from her brother, who is a buddy of mine). So much for being upfront and saving embarassment.
Wishing everyone well. I enjoyed posting here for a while, but as I matured I realized this forum isn't for me. We all evolve. Thanks for the memories everyone.
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