smackeddog wrote:

Vmart wrote:

VCoug wrote:Unbelievable. I first heard this several hours ago and I'm still stunned. Please, please, please, please if you or someone you know is suffering from depression there is no shame, none, in seeking help. There are countless people who love and care for you who would be devastated at your loss!

Having lost a family member to depression I hear you. My father is a psychiatrist and treats people with depression he has told me that the last person to know is the person with the problem so it is imperative for friends and family to know the signs of depression. Ironically Robin Williams played a Psychiatrist in Awakening, at the same place my Dad was practicing at the time.

I usually find it's the opposite- people are pretty good at hiding their pain and not letting anyone in, which is why a lot of people are shocked when someone close to them kills themselves. You can always look back and reinterpret stuff and wonder if you should have spotted 'the signs', but really if someone doesn't want you to know the level of pain they are in they will be pretty good at hiding the extent of it right up until the end. Even if you do figure out they're hurting, you're still pretty powerless if they can't or won't engage with you. I think it's tough on the friends and family when the onus is put on them to spot the signs, because they will be feeling guilt anyways (as well as anger and hurt), and that will kind of play on that.

In some cases it is like how you describe it, there are cases where there are signs. For instance my uncle was oblivious to the surrounding and constantly lost in thought. Would get up in middle of the night and go for a walk.

As someone who was treated for depression more than a decade ago, the meds can be just as bad the illness, if not worse. It feels like you are never going to get over it, doesn't matter how good things seem from a distance.

Williams actually made fun of my aunt on national TV! He was on the old Letterman show on NBC promoting The Dead Poets Society and they set up a live feed of the movie theater down the street from the studio which was showing the film, and Williams was goofing on whoever came out of the movie and one of the was my aunt. Funny as always.

Very sorry to hear that life was so painful for Williams. Even in his final days he found the time to grant a dying girl her wish. Rest in peace Robin Williams, you will be missed.

comedians always end up killing themselves,

they are so sad this is why they are so good at making others laugh, but they can't make themselves laugh

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

thats the thing... I once thought the same. Then I had kids and got older. I lost my father to parkinsons in 2008. He was 69. I would give up so much just to have another day with my main man, to hear his voice, his experiences.. all that. I think of the same with me... I have really strong bonds with all my kids and hope I can be there for whatever they need as long as possible. Things change...

I have a parent that is dying from parkinsons - horrible disease. There is not much left that she can do but her will to live is so that she can see her children, grand children and now even a great grand child. People don't really want to die unless they are leaving an empty place.

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

thats the thing... I once thought the same. Then I had kids and got older. I lost my father to parkinsons in 2008. He was 69. I would give up so much just to have another day with my main man, to hear his voice, his experiences.. all that. I think of the same with me... I have really strong bonds with all my kids and hope I can be there for whatever they need as long as possible. Things change...

I know how sensitive that can be and don't want to be rude but would you really have wanted your Dad to suffer any longer? 69 was plenty of time to have lived a full life and I don't get the rationale of wanting to keep him around in that condition. I don't want to dig up old wounds but did he intimate wanting to stick around in that condition? Again, not trying to be rude; just trying to understand.

mreinman wrote:

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

thats the thing... I once thought the same. Then I had kids and got older. I lost my father to parkinsons in 2008. He was 69. I would give up so much just to have another day with my main man, to hear his voice, his experiences.. all that. I think of the same with me... I have really strong bonds with all my kids and hope I can be there for whatever they need as long as possible. Things change...

I have a parent that is dying from parkinsons - horrible disease. There is not much left that she can do but her will to live is so that she can see her children, grand children and now even a great grand child. People don't really want to die unless they are leaving an empty place.

I wish you and your family the best. I didn't know all that about your Mom and I hope that what I'm saying isn't caustic, considering what you're going through. Sorry man.

NardDogNation wrote:

fishmike wrote:

mreinman wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

thats the thing... I once thought the same. Then I had kids and got older. I lost my father to parkinsons in 2008. He was 69. I would give up so much just to have another day with my main man, to hear his voice, his experiences.. all that. I think of the same with me... I have really strong bonds with all my kids and hope I can be there for whatever they need as long as possible. Things change...

I know how sensitive that can be and don't want to be rude but would you really have wanted your Dad to suffer any longer? 69 was plenty of time to have lived a full life and I don't get the rationale of wanting to keep him around in that condition. I don't want to dig up old wounds but did he intimate wanting to stick around in that condition? Again, not trying to be rude; just trying to understand.

But understand that quality of life is relative, and if he could have stayed around longer he would have loved too. He loved to listen to talk radio, classical music and baseball. If he could have sat around for another decade just to come over for wings and beers once a week and see his grandkids grow he would have signed on for that in a heartbeat and loved it. The Parkinsons ruined his mind and his body... he just had nothing left. But old age and the pains that come with it arent a death sentence

When you get older, if you want to stay happy you let go of what you cant do anymore, and focus on the things in life you love.

fishmike wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:

fishmike wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:

mreinman wrote:

NardDogNation wrote:RIP, Rob! At the end of the day though, I'm not entirely sure that this is a sad thing. He was tremendously talented, made a name for himself and more or less went out on top. And on top of that, he lived a long enough life. We should all be so lucky. Besides, is anyone here really wanting to stick around much longer than 70? I dread old age and its impotency more than I do death. The minute I have problems being able to walk around or do my day-to-days as an able-bodied human being, I'd prefer to drop dead.

do you have children?

No, I'm not even married yet. I'm in my mid-20's so I've been in no rush to try and start a family, especially with me going back to school for a new career. Maybe that'll change my opinion about what I deem to be a good expiration date but I've volunteered in retirement homes and have seen one grandparent fall apart until she died at 93 years old. Old age can get ugly and my early perceptions of it make me feel like clocking out before all that goes down is for the best. Hell, I've already decided that if I have any kind of terminal illness before that point like Alzheimer's (which I'm genetically predisposed for), Pancreatic cancer, MS, any kind of untimely neuro-degeneration, etc. that I'm taking a .45 to the face.

yup... thats your youth talking and thats not a knock, its fine... just where you are. Experience will change that. A lot.

When did your perception on the subject change for you? Did it change?

yes... bigtime. Pretty recently around when I hit or approached 40. I had cancer when I was 19. I survived it with some grace, but all the chemo and radiation during the treatment has left me a ticking timebomb for a variety of nasty things, namely lukemia. I mention this because my 20s were spent being grateful if I made it to 40. I had a lot of fun with the ladies, played amateur full contact football and baseball and really had a grand time. But as my body broke down, and my life changed (wives, 3 kids, bigger role in taking care of extended family) my views did also. I once couldnt sit still. Now my favorite part of the week is getting baked (medicinal, of course) and working in my yard. Getting quiet. Things slow down, and if your lucky your able to adjust and shift your passions to things that work in your life. Mine were once working out, chasing skirts, playing sports and going full steam. Things are slower now, but Im happier than I have ever been. I dont feel like I have comprimised one bit. Ive simply let go of things for younger men. My point is I once just wanted to hit 40. Now Im looking at the next 30 years and I am working on sticking around awhile.

I played a hardball game this summer. Played all nine innings and played a very good outfield. Went 1-3 with a single, two stolen bases and scored the only run in a 2-1 loss, against a bunch of 20 somethings. The guys asked me to join the team. I was like thanks, but GOD NO. I was sore for two weeks after! Im done, and not upset about it. You change. Your body slows and your mind learns to be patient. I just dont give a flying fart about things that once annoyed me. Wisdom is aquired... (spelling clearly is NOT)

Good read. Fish you the man always keeping things in perspective.