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The Absolute Last Damn Carmelo Anthony Thread, Ever
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VCoug
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11/30/2012  10:05 AM
I've been a big fan of Melo since before we traded for him. I was a fan of the trade when it happened and am still a fan of the trade. Just, can we stop calling NY/Brooklyn his hometown? He does have a West Baltimore tattoo over his heart after all.
Now the joy of my world is in Zion How beautiful if nothing more Than to wait at Zion's door I've never been in love like this before Now let me pray to keep you from The perils that will surely come
AUTOADVERT
gunsnewing
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11/30/2012  10:09 AM    LAST EDITED: 11/30/2012  10:09 AM
I also don't buy he is a Benard King fan. I was too young to see Benard King play. Melo is younger than me. I know his family were Benard fans nut he wasn't even born yet!

He's prob a frickin CWebb fan!
Nalod
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11/30/2012  10:14 AM

"His Arm sock covers some tatoo's, if you read them, you would go blind"

"Melo has man boobs. Why wouldn't everyone?"

"Bernie fine did not molest him, he molested Bernie Fine"

He is the most MVPish Player in the NBA......
Moonangie
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11/30/2012  10:22 AM
Nalod wrote:
Soon we'll have "chuck Norris" or "Worlds most interesting man" Fables about Carmello.


"His headband is a halo"

"He did not ask to be traded, Denver wanted to share him"

"when he misses as shot and smiles, he does so to pleasure himself"

"His arm sock is not to protect his arm, its to protect the opposing player"

"Melo does not jump, he pushes the earth below him"

"He is not from Brooklyn, Brooklyn is from him!"

"Baron Davis knee did not shatter, it bowed before Carmelo out of respect!"

"Mozgov was not traded, he asked to be included because he thought Knicks did not give up enough"

Awesomely hilarious. Well done!
jrodmc
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11/30/2012  10:25 AM
"He scores points like a monk from the 16th century"

"His teeth generate radiation that's worse than holding a cellphone near your brain"

"No matter how much he mentions BK, everyone always thinks: Michelin Man"

"He's just not as black as Lebron, and when will any of his small kids ever post trick shot vids?"

"George Karl would look much healthier now if he hadn't had to deal with DivaMelo"

"Just look what he's done to JR Smith (yeah, not too sure what this means, either)"

"When he gets traded away from the Knicks, you can bet his first game back at MSG he'll blow kisses to Dolan! By golly, that will really make me mad!"
Nalod
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11/30/2012  10:56 AM

"when he takes bad shots, he is complimenting his good ones"

"When he passes out of a double team, opponents thank him"

"When he smiles, He's not"

He is the Most MVPish player in the NBA!
misterearl
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11/30/2012  11:05 AM
Now THIS is Entertainment

jrodmc wrote:"He scores points like a monk from the 16th century"

"His teeth generate radiation that's worse than holding a cellphone near your brain"

"No matter how much he mentions BK, everyone always thinks: Michelin Man"

"He's just not as black as Lebron, and when will any of his small kids ever post trick shot vids?"

"George Karl would look much healthier now if he hadn't had to deal with DivaMelo"

"Just look what he's done to JR Smith (yeah, not too sure what this means, either)"

"When he gets traded away from the Knicks, you can bet his first game back at MSG he'll blow kisses to Dolan! By golly, that will really make me mad!"

jrodmc - your Pulitzer Prize is in the mail.

once a knick always a knick
misterearl
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11/30/2012  11:07 AM
+7

Nalod wrote:
"Mozgov was not traded, he asked to be included because he thought Knicks did not give up enough"

Quite possibly the POD.

once a knick always a knick
Anji
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11/30/2012  12:31 PM
Mozgov respects Melo so much, he's still asking Karl to not play him.
"Really, all Americans want is a cold beer, warm p***y, and some place to s**t with a door on it." - Mr. Ford
DurzoBlint
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11/30/2012  2:04 PM
he once missed a shot to see how it felt
if he dunked the ball, he'd drive the rim into the parquet floor
he gets frequent flier miles whenever called for a travel.
every shot he blocks reaches escape velocity
churches adopt his pre-game rituals
He was the actually template for Body by Jake
the fact that you can't even have an unrelated thread without some tool here bringing him up make me think that rational minds are few and far between. Bunch of emotionally weak, angst riddled people. I mean, how many times can you argue the same shyt
misterearl
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12/1/2012  4:29 PM    LAST EDITED: 12/1/2012  4:30 PM
SFX: Hokey Game Show Theme Music

ANNCR: (exaggerated tone) "Time for America's FAVORITE game show... "Carmelo versus Lebron"

Player A - 25 and 9 rebounds with 6 assists + 29.21

Player B - 26 and 7 rebounds with 2 assists + 21.60 (whatever that means, but it certainly looks good)

Against the Wizards, Carmelo had 5 assists. That is a positive sign as he hit the open man more often. As a result of his hot start, the extreme double and triple teams are more prevalent. Teams are loading up to stop his effectiveness at the four. This is an opportunity for reinvention. In order for the Knicks to have the knack, Melo's goal should be to average 5 assists per game.

Simple and painless. Everybody is happy and we skate to the ECF, no problem.

once a knick always a knick
ActionJackson
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12/2/2012  12:09 AM
misterearl wrote:
Simple and painless. Everybody is happy and we skate to the ECF, no problem.

Brother Earl,

I know you to be a gentleman & a B-Ball scholar but what would ever make you think that ANYTHING that Melo ever does would make people here happy????
CrushAlot
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12/2/2012  1:23 AM
gunsnewing wrote:I also don't buy he is a Benard King fan. I was too young to see Benard King play. Melo is younger than me. I know his family were Benard fans nut he wasn't even born yet!

He's prob a frickin CWebb fan!

Hopefully he never gets pulled over for smoking on the way to practice like CWebb.
I'm tired,I'm tired, I'm so tired right now......Kristaps Porzingis 1/3/18
firefly
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12/2/2012  7:16 AM
When Clark Kent goes into a phone booth, Superman comes out. When Melo goes into a phone booth.....Melo comes out.
Some men see things as they are and ask why. I dream things that never were and ask why not?
misterearl
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12/2/2012  9:43 AM    LAST EDITED: 12/2/2012  9:43 AM
The first pictures sent to earth from Mars via NASA's Curiosity Probe were of Carmelo in the updated Knicks unis.

Carmelo visited The Dead Sea and it threw a jamming house party, just to see him smile.

Every time the ball does not touch Carmelo's hands, a Victoria's Secret model loses a perfectly good push up bra.

once a knick always a knick
Nalod
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12/2/2012  10:56 AM

"When aliens abduct Melo, they want him to probe them......."
Bonn1997
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12/2/2012  10:59 AM
Gallo is a better alien-prober than Melo will ever be!
misterearl
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12/2/2012  11:26 PM
Either you have a sense of humor and can get with the bit... or you cannot.

Bonn1997 wrote:Gallo is a better alien-prober than Melo will ever be!

Santa's reindeer that would not play with Rudolph, played with Carmelo.

once a knick always a knick
jrodmc
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12/3/2012  7:39 AM    LAST EDITED: 12/3/2012  7:40 AM
Carmelo has never had to wipe after defecating. Not once. The man has no idea what a skid mark is.

There are never cars in front of Melo's vehicle, whether it be Cash or EZPass.

Satellite imagery also shows that the Ozone layer is thicker and healthier than it has ever been, and there's a faint "7" visible in it's misty haze.

Santa regularly sends his lists to Melo for that all important second check review.

Whenever Melo takes to the air, the ceiling and visibility are always unlimited. Even when he uses a plane.

Museum curators now believe Melo's understated press conference humor explains the Mona Lisa.

Angels strain to look into the way Melo releases his j.
firefly
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12/3/2012  10:20 AM
The NBA logo waa going to be Melo pulling up for a mid-range J, but no-one can draw that perfectly.
Some men see things as they are and ask why. I dream things that never were and ask why not?
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The Absolute Last Damn Carmelo Anthony Thread, Ever
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