sebstar wrote:

TMS wrote:i know exactly what you're talkin about man... feels like u just got punched in the gut every time u think about it... i know that feeling well, trust.

ain't it scary how a chick can totally fluck up your life in every way imaginable sometimes?

Its crazy. I mean, my will to live has been sucked out and Im not spitting cliches either.

Broads are heartless man. I wish I didnt have a heart sometimes.

::sad sebstar::

We've all been in the same situation, man. Hang in there. You're a good dude. A lot of chicks are crazy but there's always a few normal ones out there for all of us to eventually meet. Here's to hoping that the next one you run across is normal and helps you move on.

It can be rough, because everyone gets lonely and wants that soulmate, but I say just man up and be a playa for life. Besides, your best chance of finding a wife is to not look for one. Just play these females until one finally breaks you down.

Listen to this, man. This soothes me and gives me when I'm down. The song has a good message. Listen to the lyrics. I hope you will feel better. I'v been in your same position man. Don't worry about it.

sebstar wrote:life sucks and I hate it...cant wait to leave it. Real talk. fukk this shyt

soldier on

When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

TRU wrote:

sebstar wrote:life sucks and I hate it...cant wait to leave it. Real talk. fukk this shyt

Man, suck it up.

Tough love, bro... stop bytchin. That's the first step to getting past this.

Less Marbury, more Mason.

Easy to just spit that out and say that, bro.

Easy to say when its not you watching your father die. Easy to say that when its not your father that is talking suicide and your lil' sisters call crying and screaming because of it on the daily. Easy to say when its not your moms overseas because of this stupid ass war, hating life. Easy to say when its not you that felt like you had a soulmate and then the bytch acts like you never existed in conjunction to everything else going on. I flucked up like any man but I was there for her and I was close to her family and put nothing above that. Now I mean jack shyt. Easy to say when you're not the one feeling trapped by loneliness, guilt, and depression.

Im no bytch fam, but brothas bleed. Im human. I dont give a fukk what you have to say.

sebstar wrote:Easy to just spit that out and say that, bro.

Easy to say when its not you watching your father die. Easy to say that when its not your father that is talking suicide and your lil' sisters call crying and screaming because of it on the daily. Easy to say when its not your moms overseas because of this stupid ass war, hating life. Easy to say when its not you that felt like you had a soulmate and then the bytch acts like you never existed in conjunction to everything else going on. I flucked up like any man but I was there for her and I was close to her family and put nothing above that. Now I mean jack shyt. Easy to say when you're not the one feeling trapped by loneliness, guilt, and depression.

Im no bytch fam, but brothas bleed. Im human. I dont give a fukk what you have to say.

Its strange, but when I am going through personal turmoil, I usually try to stand back and see myself as the tiny speck I am within the breadth and scope of mankind, history, life, human suffering, etc.. When I do, I realize that I am pretty lucky to be living now in the nation I was born in, despite all the problems which exist in the world. I also realize that there are many places in the world now with people who wish they could live like we live here. Nothing you are facing is unique, my friend, and nothing you face will compare with the horror and death that many have faced throughout history.

Your dad is coming to terms with his own mortality, your sisters can't handle it, and your mom, perhaps the person who would be the rock for all of you to anchor yourselves to, is not present at this moment. It is your time to be strong and deal with things like the man you are.

And forget about the woman. If she is not there for you now, she is not a keeper. You are better than her, and she does not deserve you.

Two of my favorite poems which deal with things like this. The Kipling poem is a classic, dealing with many situations you face in life. Its message is the code of conduct of the classic British gentleman- and something we can all benefit from.

Invictus was a poem my father liked, and deals more with the "big picture" of life.

Rudyard Kipling: If

If you can keep your head when all about you 

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; 

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 

But make allowance for their doubting too; 

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, 

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating, 

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; 

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; 

If you can meet with triumph and disaster 

And treat those two imposters just the same; 

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken 

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken, 

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 

And lose, and start again at your beginnings 

And never breath a word about your loss; 

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 

To serve your turn long after they are gone, 

And so hold on when there is nothing in you 

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, 

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch; 

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; 

If all men count with you, but none too much; 

If you can fill the unforgiving minute 

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run - 

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, 

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me, 

Black as the Pit from pole to pole, 

I thank whatever gods may be 

For my unconquerable soul. 



In the fell clutch of circumstance 

I have not winced nor cried aloud. 

Under the bludgeonings of chance 

My head is bloody, but unbowed.



Beyond this place of wrath and tears 

Looms but the Horror of the shade, 

And yet the menace of the years 

Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. 



It matters not how strait the gate, 

How charged with punishments the scroll. 

I am the master of my fate: 

I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley