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OT: can i buy you a drink?
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BasketballJones
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6/5/2007  10:44 PM
Posted by Bonn1997:

Have any of you ever asked a girl out, had her say no, kept trying, and eventually had her say yes? Just curious because I used to try this method when I was younger (like 17 to 20) but I've concluded that it only works in the movies!

And you wind up being, like, a stalker? No. I never did try that.
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BasketballJones
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6/5/2007  10:47 PM
Posted by bobs3304:

if youre not good enough as is, buying a drink wont make a difference.

Sounds like someone needs an affirmation:

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BlueSeats
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6/5/2007  10:52 PM
Posted by bitty41:
Posted by EnySpree:

There is a stupid song out now everyone likes where in the chorus the lead yelps "can I buy you a drink?"

Now never in the history of enyspree have I ever bought a chic a drink at a bar unless they were hanging with me, friends, family, or partner.

Now I'm not sure if this is common practice, but I have been out and seen guys buy not only a drink for one girl but their whole crew! I have always though this type of dude to be messing things up for all the rest of the men out there and yet to be born.

I had a girl ask me to buy her a drink after chatting a little. I was like why? She was insulted and tried to play me. Some other dude did get her the drink and they weren't even talking to each other.

I for one go out to get drunk and help the peeps I'm hanging with have a good time too. I'm not about to go out of pocket on some bum chic I don't care how good she looks.

Anyway, what is the man rule on this?

Eny she was trying to hit on you duh! No seriously she probably thought you were interested wanted to test out the waters by flipping the table and you asking you buy her a drink. When you basically told her no she was most likely licking her wounds.

In terms of your question it all depends no man should feel obligated to automatically pay for women's drinks. But if your trying to get her attention thats a different story.

See this info is priceless, and shy guys never have a clue.

Gives me the idea for a business. bitty, you could have guys pay you a monthly fee to be available for live text messaging on dates. There are so many ambiguous situations a man needs immediate help with. For instance, maybe he's on a good date, maybe there's even some light fooling around, and before you know it she's taking out pictures of her boyfriend in Germany... WTF?... Call bitty. She'll know what it means. Or say the date is winding down and you still can't tell if the girl likes you or not. You're at her door and she tells you she's not feeling well and has to get up early but would you like to come in for a coffee before you go? WTF??? Call bitty, she'll know what it means...

There's a fortune to be made in breaking the code...
EnySpree
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6/5/2007  11:22 PM
So bitty is saying I should have bought the girl a drink? Hmmmm. I still say no. These are balls in my sac here buddy boy.....maybe that's why they are blue. Mmmmwahahahaha.

Well the older guys at my job were all saying by the drink and basically stalk her all night. They say mix and mingle and eventually someone will take the bait. Most of the guys around my age said to hell with that! So is buying a woman a drink an old school thing? I'm still think that whold thing is for desperate cornballs.

Need more info. Does not compute.
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martin
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6/5/2007  11:34 PM
Posted by EnySpree:

So bitty is saying I should have bought the girl a drink? Hmmmm. I still say no. These are balls in my sac here buddy boy.....maybe that's why they are blue. Mmmmwahahahaha.

Well the older guys at my job were all saying by the drink and basically stalk her all night. They say mix and mingle and eventually someone will take the bait. Most of the guys around my age said to hell with that! So is buying a woman a drink an old school thing? I'm still think that whold thing is for desperate cornballs.

Need more info. Does not compute.

tough call. I've seen the bitty situation and all the chick is doing is helping the guy out and taking the initiative for him and I've seen some girl who just want a free drink and will walk away right after. Gotta read the girl right.


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newyorknewyork
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6/6/2007  12:02 AM
Id say I agree with the fellas who won't buy a drink to open up conversation. Unless money is no object. A guy like T-pain who has a couple of hit records lives a different lifestyle than guys like us. He can afford to use his money to rope in women.

For guys like us It depends on if you feel a connection. If you feel a connection go for it, If not don't. You can't ever expect to have sex that night though. You could only hope that it could possibly come down to that. If a girl is really feeling you she will give you all the signs that she is. You just would have to pay attention to her body language, actions, & comments. If you have to chase then most likley your going to get burned. I would say if you and the girl are both having a good conversation and feel a connection then its okay to buy the girl a drink. But I wouldn't buy a girl a drink as to open conversation.

The best way to pick up women in a club without having to spend a lot of money would be to become a good dancer.
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BlueSeats
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6/6/2007  12:08 AM
Posted by EnySpree:

So bitty is saying I should have bought the girl a drink? Hmmmm. I still say no. These are balls in my sac here buddy boy.....maybe that's why they are blue. Mmmmwahahahaha.

Well the older guys at my job were all saying by the drink and basically stalk her all night. They say mix and mingle and eventually someone will take the bait. Most of the guys around my age said to hell with that! So is buying a woman a drink an old school thing? I'm still think that whold thing is for desperate cornballs.

Need more info. Does not compute.


Eny, turn the tables for a minute. If a girl asks you if she can buy you a drink how would you take it? At a minimum she's showing interest and a willingness to pony up a couple of bucks on the possibility it might go somewhere.

If a girl asks you for a drink it means she's not in a hurry to be somewhere else, and it's a way of gauging your interest. Not acquiescing to her request showed her a disinterest and an unwillingness to take a chance in the matter.

That said, I'm sure there are plenty of gals who enjoy seeing how long they can go without spending a dime on themselves, and if your intuition told you she was just playing you for a drink then you did the right thing. And, if you weren't that interested and don't care much either way then nothing was lost.
4949
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6/6/2007  12:22 AM
Posted by Bonn1997:

Have any of you ever asked a girl out, had her say no, kept trying, and eventually had her say yes? Just curious because I used to try this method when I was younger (like 17 to 20) but I've concluded that it only works in the movies!

One problem is, is that it's called a 'method'. If it has to be a method, then it's not real, but then again, trying to meet girls in a bar is not real to begin with. It's a game and can be a little expensive. If your looking for a relationship, the bar is not the place. It rarely happens. I tried that 'buy her a drink' thing and they took advantage of it. I don't even drink anymore. Hell' I had a couple of chiicks offer to buy me' a drink when I had no beer (just visiting friends). I'd usually just have a soda. The bar scene is so 'I don't know what it is exactly'. Today, I wake up every morning with the same amount of money in my pocket as when I go to sleep at night, with no hangover the next morning and not depressed, after a night of getting rejected. I've had my share of good times and down times in the bar scene and that's all I went for. I'm so glad that's over with. It's okay to go out and just have pure conversational fun' if you want and it's okay to buy someone a drink, if you don't mind it, without obligation. People go for different reasons. That's about all I know about that scene. For most men, it's about taking a chance. For the women, it's about playing the game. It really depends also on what kind of bar (or lounge) you go to also. You have a choice anywhere between easy sleeze to sophisticated fun! People go there to relax, I guess, but for many, it's a game. In most cases, a tease game. That's all I can say of my experiences. LOL I realize this now. It's interesting to observe a bar scene, when your completely sober. I found myself saying 'what was I thinking'. But I suggest you' figure it out on your own. Sometimes, personal experience is the only way to find out.











[Edited by - 4949 on 06-06-2007 12:25 AM]

[Edited by - 4949 on 06-06-2007 12:26 AM]
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islesfan
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6/6/2007  12:36 AM
Never if there's been no interaction previously and never if she asks.

If you've been talking or dancing and you're getting a drink for yourself, then offering to get them a drink is fine.

For bottle service, you never let them just come into your area and start pouring themselves drinks. You go out and invite girls back to your table. It can get hard when you're with a group of friends and don't know who invited who.
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4949
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6/6/2007  12:42 AM
Actually, when you come in with someone, I found that women feel more comfortable around you. There's a glimmer of trust when your with someone. Especially if you are with another woman. Even whether it's a girlfriend or not.
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TMS
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6/6/2007  1:08 AM
Posted by 4949:

Actually, when you come in with someone, I found that women feel more comfortable around you. There's a glimmer of trust when your with someone. Especially if you are with another woman. Even whether it's a girlfriend or not.

that's DEFINITELY true
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Allanfan20
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6/6/2007  3:05 AM
Posted by TMS:
Posted by 4949:

Actually, when you come in with someone, I found that women feel more comfortable around you. There's a glimmer of trust when your with someone. Especially if you are with another woman. Even whether it's a girlfriend or not.

that's DEFINITELY true


Of course it's true, b/c if it weren't, then the women wouldn't be coming in with you in the first place.

I thought NewYork's post reflected my sentiments perfectly though. If you've been hanging with the girl that night, and you're feeling her and she's feeling you, then that's fine eventually. However, if you just started the convo or you just want to start it, then it's just not a cool thing. She'll either try and take advantage of you, or look down on you and say you're just trying to buy your way in.

Why bother though, besides when you've been talking for a long time.
“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if they would, I do NOT do that thing.”- Dwight Schrute
Allanfan20
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6/6/2007  3:12 AM
This reminds me of when I used to work in a ticket booth at a beach and I had to make sure people paid to get tickets, before they get in the beach. Sooooooooo many hot chicks in hot bikinis tried getting me to let them in for free and at first it worked, and then I realized this. "Why should I let them in? Just b/c they are good looking? Am I getting their numbers b/c of this? Are they gonna flash me or somethin'?" When I realized the answers to these question, the Mean Allanfan20 came into play and I started putting my foot down and I even found that I gained more respect from the women after that.

One of my biggest philosophies is this. "Don't give women free stuff just because they are good looking." They prolly get tons of crap anyway.

Back to the drinks, if you're just going up to her, you don't think you'll be the only one offering her a drink? The answer is no, tons of guys will be offering her drinks, and she'll probably be getting tanked off free drinks a lot of times. So what's the point?

Make her earn your drink. If you just wanna dance, make her dance with you or grind it with you for awhile. If you wanna talk, make sure she's into you. Women like a guy in charge. Not someone who gives in.
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EnySpree
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6/6/2007  7:47 AM
Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.
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VDesai
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6/6/2007  8:51 AM
If you've been talking to a girl for a while and things are going well, its worth it to buy that drink. Generally getting her that drink means you'll at least be able to talk to her for duration of how long she's got that drink, giving you more time to work the charm.
bitty41
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6/6/2007  8:59 AM
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

Oh no you didn't! Guys please heed my words very closely: there is nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy and him looking towards you to pay. Call it old-fashioned report me to the woman's movement I don't care. Im sorry you ask a woman out to dinner you should absolutely pay. At least for the first date now me I would offer to pay but if the guy just flat out says here's the bill you will get the "I'll call you" line with a phone call never coming. If you don't even offer to pay you come off as seeming cheap or too broke to date neither of which increases your chances for a second date.

Me personally if a guy pays for dinner and if we have drinks afterwards I'll insist on paying for the drinks or if we go for dessert somewhere I'll insist in that situation. Dinner don't think pull out your wallet and pay for the damn dinner.

EnySpree
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6/6/2007  10:04 AM
Lol @ bitty.

If its a date then a dude should pay especially if the guy is the one that asked.

I was talking about a friend. A friend I don't plan on ever screwing again or having any other relations other than friendship. Like my ex. We are friends now so if we hang out, we are chillin like homies. She doesn't want me back and doesn't want any benifits. I'm not her man nor are we dating. Why should I have to pay for her every single time? We friends. Its not only her but all of my female friends.

What's your rule on that?
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Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  10:23 AM
Posted by bitty41:
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

Oh no you didn't! Guys please heed my words very closely: there is nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy and him looking towards you to pay. Call it old-fashioned report me to the woman's movement I don't care. Im sorry you ask a woman out to dinner you should absolutely pay. At least for the first date now me I would offer to pay but if the guy just flat out says here's the bill you will get the "I'll call you" line with a phone call never coming. If you don't even offer to pay you come off as seeming cheap or too broke to date neither of which increases your chances for a second date.

Me personally if a guy pays for dinner and if we have drinks afterwards I'll insist on paying for the drinks or if we go for dessert somewhere I'll insist in that situation. Dinner don't think pull out your wallet and pay for the damn dinner.
You're female???
Bonn1997
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6/6/2007  10:24 AM
Posted by Bonn1997:
Posted by bitty41:
Posted by EnySpree:

Some good stuff here.

I have no problem buying a drink for a female that I'm talking too. If we are talking split, and find each other later and things are still cool, ok then why not?

Dude if a female buys me a drink I'm proposing to her on the spot! How rare is that?

I have a few female friends some I have been intimate with some I haven't. What remains the same is that they all expect me to pay for them if we are hanging out. If I go out with my guy friends do should I pay too? Ight well sometimes a guy friend might pay the bill, etc buy then I got it next time. Same **** should apply to female friends.

Bills. Women act like they are the only ones that have them. Just the othe day I called an ex that I still talk to. We been broken up for 8 years now. I asked if she wanted to go to the movies and she was like yeah then we can eat or something. I'm like its not a date, so she passes saying she is broke. Come on man. Its every single time I ask her. If she does pay I wind up paying the majority and she takes on the tip.

Man this some bull****. Maybe I need to stop meeting broke people.

Oh no you didn't! Guys please heed my words very closely: there is nothing worse than going out on a date with a guy and him looking towards you to pay. Call it old-fashioned report me to the woman's movement I don't care. Im sorry you ask a woman out to dinner you should absolutely pay. At least for the first date now me I would offer to pay but if the guy just flat out says here's the bill you will get the "I'll call you" line with a phone call never coming. If you don't even offer to pay you come off as seeming cheap or too broke to date neither of which increases your chances for a second date.

Me personally if a guy pays for dinner and if we have drinks afterwards I'll insist on paying for the drinks or if we go for dessert somewhere I'll insist in that situation. Dinner don't think pull out your wallet and pay for the damn dinner.
You're female???

Oh, and no that's not my usual pick up line!
I think the default assumption is that posters here are male and I assumed you were too!
Allanfan20
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6/6/2007  10:31 AM
It's a good thing Bitty wasn't at Bonn night.
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