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man, do you guys ever feel like you need a vacation from your vacation? I am getting less sleep now than I normally do. I am the conductor on the party train.

Boracay good. I have no idea what day it is and I barely remember my own name, but I have a killer tan and the beach below my feet. If I return to the US with a tatoo on my ass and a wife I dont remember getting married too, it ain't my fault. Those are the Fight Club extention rules that I am going by.

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massage update from south asia remote island, bitches:

OK, just got done with a < $10 massage on a remote island in the Philippines and thought about typing a these-readers-will-be-envious post. I post from Boracay, a 45 minute propeller plane ride from Manila, Philippines. We did have to take 2 different bus rides and a small ferry to get to the final destination, but the effort was all worth it. But back to massages: the 3 biggest daily decisions for me are this: a) 1 or 2 massages a day b) when to get them c) to tip the equivalent of either $1.25 or $2.50 on a $8.50 rub down. They go for a full hour. There are 6 different kinds you can pick from. No happy endings here but that's OK. Fuck yeah.

Let me set the scene: Our resort hotel on Boracay island has been perfect. The pool is next to our room which is next to the outdoor, open air (but covered) breakfast/dinner area which is steps away from the beach (about 20 steps to be exact, I counted until I hit water). Caught a bit too much sun on the first day so the legs are pink; and oh, it's a temperate 90 degrees with not too much humidity. Water and beach couldn't be better. Did para sailing one day. Scuba diving twice. Seafood galore. I think I am working on 4-5 hours of sleep a night - am the oldest of the group I am with and the best partier by far (and most everyone else is just under 30). And it's such an easy time to party, especially at < $1 per bottle of San Miguel beer, but it is also much easier when you are with a pretty, curvy Swedish girl who has caught the eye of the bar manager and is working it for both she and I (free shots of Cuervo - hate it but drink it cause what the ****, right? And I am handed a free cold bottle of beer every 20 minutes). That was one of the main bars we stuck to. Did a little exploring and have hit some others which regularly feature hookers whose entire outfit comprises of less cloth than my man-thong. And they all look 18. I don't trust my double-wrap technique to even venture that way; with the way I have been drinking and my luck I would wake up the next morning with a tattoo on my ass and a new wife.

So yes, my friend from LA got married to a Philippine chick who has been over in the USA for about 6 years. There are about 8 Americans and 2 Euro chicks in the bigger group celebrating the festivities. Most everyone leaves tonight except me and the groom and bride. Since the bride has not seen her family for about 6 years, she is NOT coming out tonight and the groom and I will pretend it is the days BEFORE the wedding and go out bachelor-party style. WATCH OUT. She is back at her mom's home and he and I have a hotel room in the middle of the city (we will be back in Manila tonight). I am going to duct tape about 7 versions of the hotel name and directions and phone numbers to various parts of my body so we can just point to the cards when the taxi driver asks for a destination. Pray for me to get back OK.

Back to the USA later on Wednesday.

Posted by martin:

the 3 biggest daily decisions for me are this: a) 1 or 2 massages a day b) when to get them c) to tip the equivalent of either $1.25 or $2.50 on a $8.50 rub down. They go for a full hour. There are 6 different kinds you can pick from.

P.S: NOT FUCKING FAIR!!!!

You guys are *******s!


P.S: Have fun Marv. Keep posting on this thread while you are there.

oh ****, I would have done a drunk post at 6am local time but I was sooooo very tired.

Started out the night at ~10pm and my buddy trips crossing the road in a hurried motion trying to avoid an on-coming taxi. The limp will be with him the entire night; sucks for him as alcohol and the distraction of hot sweaty women would be the only remedy for the every swelling foot. Broken? Sprained? That'll be a question for the next day, troopers must march (dance?) into the night.

First place kinda sucked, band was playing karaoke-style love songs. At the second place 2 super rich older women buy the whole bar beers (maybe 50 people in the place), it's gotta be nice to have rich husbands who were back in England. They did make all the dudes get on stage and dance to some weird ****. And of course my white buddy and I stood out and were the target of their unwanted affections.

it's now some time past 2am and we hit a techno place and immediately hop on the empty dance floor. Within minutes the floor was packed. It's a good thing I have no conscience. And I am dancing with some cuties. And now I am wondering if the cuties are hookers. And now I don't give a **** cause I am too ****-faced.

Breakfast at 5am with another group of lovilies. Home by 6am.

And done.

Posted by islesfan:

Why do I get the feeling that when I get to the Philippines next week it'll be like seeing NYC after Cloverfield hit.

Martin, I hope you left some good stuff for me.

And yes, the cuties were hookers...female impersonating hookers.

dude, it's Holy week. The mad rush is about to start. Good luck!

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