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misterearl
Posts: 38786
Alba Posts: 0
Joined: 11/16/2004
Member: #799 USA
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Pumping Up
ANNCR: Good evening, and welcome again to "Pumping Up With Hanz & Franz", the informative training program for the serious basketball fan.
Together: Welcome! We're back!
Hans Lee: Alright. Once again, I am Hans...
Franz Frye: And I am Franz. And we just want to...
Together: pump... [They clap]...you up!
Lee: Alright.
Frye: Alright, first of all, let’s clear something up. You know, many people have talked about us of being different since the Denver game.
Lee: Ja. They are right! But let me explain—to us, this (flexing) is not something different!
Frye: Ja. They are the people who stop on the street and stare at our amazing biceps!
Lee: Hence, we call ourselves the frontcourt with pumpitude!
Frye: Alright. Enough talk. We're not here to talk. We're here to...
Together: pump... [They clap]...you up!
Frye: You know, the big news is our cousin Eddy Curry who is also proud to show his new pumpitude. Doesn’t surprise us, formerly Fat Eddy has been pumping hard in practice.
Lee: Ja. You know, Biggie Eddy Fat is sure to beat out all the competition from these other second-rate NBA centers!
Frye: ie, Ben Wallace, Dalembert, Sha-quita…You know, all those guys!
Lee: That's right, you know - Brad Miller, all of them! You know, it’s a laugh to even compare them to Eddy! Look at me, Chan; I am laughing!
Frye: Ja! So am I, David!
[They laugh on, oblivious to the presence of Yao Ming who has just walked up behind them and simply stands there]
Lee: Ja, we are laughing—And what about this guy, Yao?
Frye: Ja! Hear me now and believe me later…Big Eddy could easily rip Yao's skinny little dinosaur arms off and use them as dental floss!
Lee: Ja, unwaxed! [They mime flossing their teeth, then suddenly notice Yao for the first time] Mr. Ming! I didn’t see you!
Yao: I couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were saying, you know…
Lee: Oh, you’re so quiet; how long were you back there? We were just talking…
Yao: Look, fellas—let’s not confuse the issue here. I don’t wanna compare myself to these other stars; they’re great and everything like that. But what I do is unique…You see, I follow—Zen.
Lee: Oh, we know Zen. First we get the rebound...
Frye: …Zen we get another…
Lee: …Zen another…
Frye: …Zen another…and Zen another…
Lee: ...And Zen another…
Frye: …And Zen we are done.
Yao: Nah, I don’t think you guys understand what I’m talking about; maybe I could demonstrate. I’d like to hold my little finger out and let you guys push on it.
Frye: Ah—Well, before you make this rash decision, maybe you should see what you’re up against.
Lee: Ja. Take a look, Yao…
Frye: Are you thinking what I’m thinking…?
[Segue into the “Pumping Up” opening sequence, but with the life-size cutouts of Arnold Schwarzenegger replaced by those of Eddy Curry.)
Together: Welcome. We’re back.
Lee: Once again, I’m Hans.
Frye: Ja, and I’m Franz... and this our big brother cousin Eddy....
Together: And we just want to pump… [They lightly bring the tips of their pinkies together]…you up.
once a knick always a knick
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