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djsunyc
Posts: 44929
Alba Posts: 42
Joined: 1/16/2004
Member: #536
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Top 10 Softest NBA Players
From Brendan McGovern,
If there's one thing I know, it's a "soft" basketball player. They didn't come any softer than me. I could shoot the ball; everything else was a front. After a few unpleasant trips in the lane, I never went back. Taking my man off the dribble meant two bounces and a bail-out. If I got close to a rebound then I'd done my part. Defense? No one asked for help quite like me. So it's with some admiration that I call out the Top 10 Softest Players in the NBA, they've come a long way doing so little!
1) Vince Carter, New Jersey Nets
Carter's incredible dunks and power moves to the hole used to lift fans out of their seats ... the only things he raises now are eyebrows with his fake injuries and outrageous shot selection. The worst thing about the latter is that his 25-foot heaves actually go in sometimes, and that's not helping anybody. It used to be that you could scare Carter away from attacking the rim with a shove or a body block here and there -- now mere eye contact sends VC into "chuck" mode.
2) Wally Szczerbiak, Minnesota Timberwolves
Don't touch the hair, man. Szczerbiak's prima donna play is suited more for pickup games in Beverly Hills than in the NBA. Wally carries an air of entitlement on the court, asserting himself on offense despite not contributing a lick of defense nor offering so much as passing glance at the glass. Could take a page from teammate Fred Hoiberg, who contributes just as much as Szczerbiak and loves the game so much he's willing to try and play with a pacemaker.
3) Michael Olowokandi, Minnesota Timberwolves
After seven years it's clear the Kandi Man can't and never will. Despite his innate ability and prototypical size, Olowokandi is the ultimate sheep in wolf's clothing. Since he picked up the game late in life, Olowokandi had everything handed to him pretty quickly for his obvious physical attributes and thus never had to earn anything on the court. That's all changed in the NBA, where guys of his size and skill level are more common, and Olowokandi has shown no desire to improve.
4) Channing Frye, New York Knicks
The 2005 NBA Draft will go down in history for producing a vintage crop of softies: Charlie Villanueva, Rashad McCants, Fran Vazquez (if he ever shows up). But it's Frye who figures to infuriate NBA fans for years to come with his propensity to follow moments of dominance with long stretches of invisibility in the paint. One of the few big men in all of college basketball, Frye averaged 7.5 rebounds the past two years and it wasn't because he wanted to spread the wealth.
5) Mo Taylor, New York Knicks
"S" is for Sczerbiak, "O" is Olowokandi, "F" is for Frye and finally, "T" is for Taylor. Mo don't know hard work as evidenced by the 6-foot-9 "power" forward's career 4.8 rebound average in over 26 minutes per game. His single-game high in blocks last season was 2 ... same as Earl Boykins.
6) Keith Van Horn, Dallas Mavericks
Van Horn may be the worst kind of soft: the one who doubts himself to the point of paralysis at the first sign of trouble. A couple of bricks, a missed defensive assignment or an errant pass are all enough for Van Horn to fold up his tent and head for the bench. And his flashes of brilliance make it all the more disheartening. Taking a page from the movie Swingers, Van Horn is money and he doesn't even know it.
7) Jamal Crawford, New York Knicks
And you thought Allan Houston played passively ... Crawford acts as if the area inside the arc is littered with land mines and he's wearing clown shoes. You'd think a deadeye marksman from deep would lead the league in three-point attempts the past two seasons, but it's Crawford, with an obscene 1,033 jacks. And when you consider that he hit only 350 of them for a putrid 33.9% accuracy, it's pretty hard to see what this frail fraud is bringing to the table.
8) Jonathan Bender, Indiana Pacers
The "next Kevin Garnett" has turned out to be the second coming of Brad Sellers. So why is everyone so patient with this pansy when he's never demonstrated any ability to withstand the physical requirements of the NBA? There's surely someone toiling in the CBA or in Europe who deserves Bender's spot in the NBA and his millions. We're talking about a guy who's missed 257 of a possible 492 games since joining the NBA and averaged 5.6 in the ones he dressed for.
9) Pau Gasol, Memphis Grizzlies
Gasol's newest teammate, Damon Stoudamire, put it best when he implored the guy whose initials are PG to start playing R-rated basketball. He's only 25 but Gasol's career trajectory reads like a 35-year-old's as his rebound and block numbers have decreased each year since his Rookie of the Year campaign in 2001-02. Maybe that's why we get the feeling that Gasol will shrink rather blossom under the heat of added responsibility and public criticism this season.
10) Cuttino Mobley, Sacramento Kings
It's only fitting that a guy nicknamed "The Cat" plays like such a p(bleep)y. Mobley's attempted more three-points shots than free throws the past four seasons and it's not like the guy is a late-game gunner: he consistently logs 3,000 minutes per year. Guys like Mobley didn't exist until 20 years ago and, no, this isn't an evolutionary step forward for the game of basketball.
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8/23/2005 10:44 PM
