NBA Rising Stars Games 2024 - A Stellar Mockery

NBA Rising Stars Challenge

Friday, February 16th @ 8:00pm CST

Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana, Not India

TV: TNT/TNT Overtime For Weird Angles/NBA.com

Radio: Almost Certainly Not

Online: NBA.com

Rosters

The coaches are Pau Gasol, Jalen Rose, and Tamika Catchings, who also chose their teams and a G League team lead by Detlef Schrempf, perhaps to honor Germany’s FIBA win? Each NBA coaching staff helped choose the player pool. How many G League Ignite games did they really watch? Have they watched many other teams since the season started? This vote probably got delegated, and maybe no one cares, but did anyone besides Pau Gasol actually watch the players?

Team Pau: Victor Wembanyama, Brandon Miller, Brandin Podziemski, Jaime Jaquez Jr., Jabari Smith Jr., Cason Wallace, Bilal Coulibaly.

Team Tamika: Paolo Banchero, Jaden Ivey, Jalen Duren, Keegan Murray, Scoot Henderson, Keyonte George, Vince Williams Jr. ( for Dyson Daniels).

Team Jalen: Chet Holmgren, Jalen Williams, Bennedict Mathurin, Dereck Lively II, Jordan Hawkins, Walker Kessler, Jeremy Sochan (for Shaedon Sharpe).

Team Detlef: Izan Almansa, Matas Buzelis, Mac McClung, Tyler Smith, Oscar Tshiebwe, Alondes Williams, Emoni Bates . (for Ron Holland)

This is a tiny bracket tournament sort of event with two short games to start, an interminable break, and a short final game between the two winning teams from the first round. The winner will be the Risingest of All Stars In The Firmament Of NBA All Star Weekend.

Except. Well, is Oscar Tshiebwe, for example, as inspiring a story as he is, really a rising star? More so than, say, Tari Eason? Or Cam Whitmore? Or Amen Thompson? As you can see, several players were nominated, but suffered injury, and have had a replacement chosen. Like Emoni Bates, chosen, again, above Amen Thompson.

Did they pick these players in November? Because right now, Cam Whitmore is one of the highest per-minute scorers in the NBA. Tari Eason, is well, Tari Eason, steals and rebounding machine. And Amen? Amen Thompson is like nothing I’ve ever seen. Has Scoot Henderson been better than Amen Thompson? Amen was drafted quite high in the draft too, you know.

Did they not pick Cam so he wouldn’t humiliate D’Artagnan, and “Podz”? I bet he could play on that ankle if he was picked.

You didn’t have to think too much about this, NBA. But apparently you didn’t think at all.

I’m glad Mac McClung will be around for some cheap dunks, as he’s pretty much a highlights sensation, and no kind of actual prospect. Despite the dunks.

I don’t really mean to gripe, but if you’re going to call it Rising Stars, perhaps put in guys in their first or second year who MIGHT BE STARS one day. Amen probably IS going to be a star. So is Cam. And Tari, I think worst case, has a very long NBA career. And is also, you know, one of the best per minute rebounders not amongst Rising Stars, but amongst the entire NBA.

So, let’s enjoy a bitter toast to Jabari, who really should have been one of four Rockets in this this little spectacle. I guess no one will expect it when Cam goes for 50 fairly soon...