Happy Festivus, Knicksian Outlanders! My employer is actually giving us two and half hours off in the middle of the day to celebrate. USA is great country, no?

My grievances with all of you are too longwinded to mention, so I won't do it here. I will tape them instead. On reel cassette tapes. [See what I did there?] Said tapes can be bought online, but you'll have to find the link on your own.

I will not mention the other thing in fear that IWG will make me cry.